Monday, 31 December 2007

Get to know yourself better

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education:

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.


** this is so me! agree? hehe. although a very little part of it is questionable. hehe. =)

Thursday, 27 December 2007

on birthdays, christmases and blogs.

birthday: anniversary of the day of one's birth

ok, so this blog is a little too overdue. but i'll still write this out. first and foremost, i want to say a big thank you to everyone who has made my birthday special by remembering it. namely, of course, my college friends (who all know who you are. thanks for the chucks.Ü). my highschool friends and barkadas. my online buddies. my london friends. anyone. thanks for the text, im, message, comment. thanks for also trying to call besh (besh love u more for that.Ü). thanks DA for the whole day, for the food and gift. and to have all of you spend it with me. thanks to jason as well, for coming (eventhough you weren't there on my bday mismo, but thanks for the libre. haha). thanks richard and mark for making the effort to come. i know you must have been bored but you stayed anyway. of course, i also made tampo when some didn't greet me. boo! haha. ok ok, i know you didn't mean to forget. so you know you have to make up for it. okies?

christmas: annual festival in dec25 commemorating the birth of Christ

ok, now this one. it's not the best christmas ever, but it's definitely not the worst. however it's been a while since i had a good christmas. a christmas where i wasn't sad or crying. (yep, that's how my past 3 christmases have been. no asking why. haha.) well, i was really optimistic about this christmas, however, as fate would have it, my dad, mom and sister were sick. so yeah, i was just stuck at home, in front of this computer. thanks to romeo (uuy, special mention name nia. haha.) for keeping me company. and to drea. (grabe, i missed talking to you.) thank you for staying up a little longer to keep me company. i grew with the whole concept of christmas with its santa, simbang gabi, exchange gifts, noche buena and everything. i don't up to become all grown up and lose belief in old tradition.

blog: short for weblog which is a person's online journal

this is the first blog entry i have written since uhm, last november. yes, a month has passed by since i last wrote something, anything. not even a blog surrvey. why you ask? hmm.. well, not sure what the exact reason is. but i'll just say that life has been good. and expect more entries to come. blogger anakat, logging in.

Thursday, 8 November 2007

20 lines. 20 people.

which one is for whom? you think you're one of the people i'm talking to? go figure.

1. you know i'll be waiting for you to come here after two years. or maybe next year. hehe

2. BIG hug!

3. some things are better left unsaid.

4. i SUPER miss you but are you still holding a grudge?

5. i love london more because of you.

6. i wanna hear you sing live.

7. when's the next event?

8. i never thought i would find friends like you here.

9. we are both one-of-a-kind, i love us!

10. i8u!

11. stay strong, stay in love, stay happy.

12. i will talk to you, SOON.

13. i'll see you in New York.

14. i miss hearing you sing with your guitar.

15. thanks for always having time for me.

16. hey you, i am not a snob, boo.

17. we're still friends despite misunderstandings, remember that.

18. get over him, not worth it.

19. we don't talk often, that's why i miss you so badly.

20. i don't say this often as i should, so here it is: many thanks for everything and i love you.

Sunday, 28 October 2007

missing anonymous.

1 Missed Call

Anonymous
11:35 27-OCT-07


who are you anonymous? and why did you call? i'm hoping that was a call from someone in the phils. but then, i feel bad i didn't get to answer it. it's not like everyday i get a call from someone back home. as of now, there has been only two people who have called me. of course, only one provider of callcards. haha. looking back, it seems i still feel that i want to receive something from my friends back home. up to now, i'm looking forward to that day i receive a gift or a card from the phils. even just one card would make my birthday so complete. (yes, i AM making parinig and paawa. hahaha. ehem ehem..)

yep, my birthday is coming up. and i can't wait. so far, i've got a few plans that i really really hope everything will push through, most of which are firsts for me. i intend to make my birthday this year the best i've ever had. and i think i'm gonna need all the help i can get.


special mention to my closest friends who are fellow scorpions celebrating their birthdays as well, namely drea, glo ann and cass. i miss you girls so much! happy birthday to us! muwah!

Wednesday, 17 October 2007

my keys are in a safe place.


The Keys to Your Heart






You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.

You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was insecure and in constant need of reassurance.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.


In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.


comments: hmm.. it's so true. loves it.

Friday, 12 October 2007

Past Life Analysis

Your past life diagnosis:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I don't know how you feel about it, but you were female in your last earthly incarnation.You were born somewhere in the territory of modern West Australia around the year 900. Your profession was that of a monk (nun), bee-keeper or lone gunman.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Your brief psychological profile in your past life:
Inquisitive, inventive, you liked to get to the very bottom of things and to rummage in books. Talent for drama, natural born actor.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The lesson that your last past life brought to your present incarnation:
There is an invisible connection between the material and the spiritual world. Your lesson is to search, find and use this magical bridge.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Do you remember now?

Wednesday, 10 October 2007

thoughts for the week.

my thoughts..

.. on friendship.

this week has been filled with drama of relationships between people. we all have different ways on how we treat our friends. we don't really need lots of friends to feel loved. sometimes it only takes one true friend to help us through our bad times. it was so hard for me to look pinas because of all the friends i would be leaving behind. i didn't want to start all over again (although there was a part of my life i wanted to. dibah?) from being by myself and finding people i can trust my whole life with. and much to my surprise, i found myself a good bunch of people who i simply love being with. we are all different and i love it. but of course, they cannot replace those who have been with me through all the years of my high school life. i miss them dearly.

.. on diplomacy, politics, international relations and foreign service.

this is pretty much what my life is about right now. this is a big part of my life. i get a lot of chances to experience it all firsthand. dining with all those famous names in politics is sort of pressure. looking your best, being on my best behaviour. sosyalan to da max. hahahaha. i actually enjoy all the activities i do here. working, volunteering, dining out, lots of memorable moments. it also popped in my mind to take up something to do with foreign service. what if, just what if, i followed my dad's footsteps? i would enjoy traveling and living elsewhere. but i would hate to always have a new life and leave my old life behind. in the long run, i might have to give up the career or choose family. or maybe that wouldn't rely on me.

.. on change.

it is inevitable. we cannot stop it or do anything at all about it. we just got to accept it and adapt to it. change can be better or for worse. change can really be painful at times. time is just passing by so quickly. and we just have to keep up with it. or we'd end up getting lost and eventually left far behind.

.. on independence.

at my age, it's hard to believe my parents are still over protective. time and time again, my parents are strict when it comes to me going out with friends. sometimes it's frustrating to not be able to go places with my friends. i think i would need a chaperone or bodyguard or driver or something just to go. however, it still has its good side to it. pros and cons. hmm.. let me weight them first.

.. on my past.

one of the hardest thing to do is live the life you have built all behind. all my friends and memories. you find it so hard to detach from it. you don't want to go through the trouble of starting your life all over again. it's not that easy. but you just got to deal with it. no running away from it. you slowly learn to let go of things you can't control but keep all the memories and people that truly matter.

.. on my future.

the main thing that stresses me now is university applications. getting it done is important. mainly because the deadline is coming up. it's so hard to chase teachers to get their part done. to actually send the application before the post office go on strike again. nice timing people. writing the personal statement was the hardest thing to do in the application process. because you actually stop to access yourself, to think about what you want to do after graduating, or about what interests you now and your hobbies. it's actually hard to talk about yourself in the way that would interest people in accepting you for their university. it's almost like thinking of a way how to sell yourself to the uni. friends say that the course i chose isn't surprising. they pretty much knew i'd take that. other people just think i'm really nerdy, geeky or plain crazy to take it up. but then, i realized that the opportunities after graduating is gonna be huge, especially if i go into the best university there is. fingers crossed on that. but the thing is am i ready for the future? will i be able to handle? well, there's only one way to answer that. and i'm sure i'll be just fine.

Wednesday, 26 September 2007

Her Diary Notes:

she just couldn't sleep. something seemed to be bothering her. something she just couldn't put her finger on. so she sat by her study table and then she saw this little black book sticking out of her book shelf. it seemed familiar to her. so she pulled it out and opened it. she read a few lines and remembered what that book was. it was her personal diary. she read on.


" september 26, 2007: 12.53am


my mind is just flying away with thoughts and dreams. and now i can't stop writing. everything is just pouring out in words. and it all comes down to this. i miss you. i miss hearing you laugh when you try make a joke even if it's not funny. i miss watching you play and being able to cheer for you. i miss holding your hand to know i'm not alone. i miss you kissing my forehead to make me feel everything is alright. i miss feeling your tight embraces that make me feel so comforted and the feeling that you ain't gonna let me go. i miss you being the first thing that i think of when i wake in the morning and last thought before going to sleep at it. i miss being able to call you mina. but the TRUTH be TOLD is that i don't really miss you at all. not one bit. not anymore. why? because now, someone else can be the one i will miss. someone else would be fill in the space you left behind. that someone would be him. and he will wait. for the right time, the right place, the moment. where everything will make sense and nothing else would matter at all."


when she finished, a teardrop fell unto the diary and a few words were smudged. reading this brought tears to her eyes. and then she smiled. she remembered her reason for everyday. it was him. he did come. and for the first time, she never felt happier. and ever more certain.

Thursday, 13 September 2007

blogstuff mode1

You are 67% Scorpio





Guys Like That You're Sensitive



And not in that "cry at a drop of a hat" sort of way
You just get most guys - even if you're not trying to
Guys find it is easy to confide in you and tell you their secrets

No wonder you tend to get close quickly in relationships!


You Should Be A Cancer



What's good about you: you're incredibly kind, caring, and generous

What's bad about you: you can be too moody and impossible to understand

In love: you enjoy wining and dining the object of your affection

In friendship, you're: likely to depend on other friends for emotional support

Your ideal job: historian, marine biologist, or religious figure

Your sense of fashion: you dress to match your mood

You like to pig out on: classic home cooked meals, like mac and cheese


Wednesday, 5 September 2007

Desiderata



by Max Ehrmann

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly, and listen to others,
even to the dull and ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be
greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career
however humble;
it is a real possession in the
changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind youto what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit
to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore, be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham,drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

Monday, 27 August 2007

those three words..

it has been two years. but she remembers it like yesterday. she was in her room just watching tv. it was close to midnight and she wasn't the least bit sleepy. yet. then her phone vibrated. her heart gave a leap. it was from someone she didn't expect but was still hopeful to hear from. her heart was now beating fast. she was nervous and scared. unsure whether to answer it or not. out of respect, she did.

there was a faint "hello" from the other end of the line. and he asked "how are you?". "fine," was all she could say and while fighting back the tears, she asked, "why did you call? what do you want?" nothing could have prepared her for what happened next. in the few seconds that passed, "i love you," he said. "i still love you."

and on that note, her tears fell non-stop. we always look forward to hear those three words from the person that means the most to us. but never in her life did those three words hurt her more than that moment. it stung her heart. why? why was he back? why is he doing this? why now? was he telling the truth? was he just lonely and needed someone in his life? was this real? why? why? she was staring blankly at the tv trying keep her mind off the situation while still holding her phone. her mind was somehow flying. she didn't know how to react. she realized she's been waiting to hear that again eversince they had a falling out. but why then, was it so damn painful? those tears weren't tears of joy or relief. those were tears of sadness, of pain and hurt, lots of it. it was like a stab in the heart. however, she was also wanting that. she had been waiting for that.

"stop crying. oh please, stop crying," came from the person at the other end. "see, i always seem to make you cry."
"well, can't you see i'm still hurting? i'm trying my best to move on and you come back to me and tell me these. what do you expect me to do?"
"uhm, well then, do you still love me? do you feel the same way still?"
"huh? i.. uhm, i don't know."
"i don't know is not a proper answer. it's a simple question. do you still have feelings for me? yes or no?"
"i...."
"well?"


she gave in to her feelings. she followed her heart despite being scared of getting hurt. and the rest, well is history to her. for now, it is just a bittersweet memory.

despite of that, she will never ever forget the feeling. the feeling of how those three words could ever hurt her in that way.

Saturday, 25 August 2007

Anakat ____ you because you ____ this.

fill in the blanks, please. hehe. thanks so much in advance. (and oh please remember to be nice. haha.)

1. I ____ Anakat.
2. Anakat is ____.
3. My first impression of Anakat is _____.
4. If I were alone in a room with Anakat, I would _____.
5. I think Anakat should _____.
6. Anakat needs ______.
7. Anakat intensely loves ______.
8. I love ______ with Anakat.
9. I want to ______ Anakat.
10. Someday Anakat will ________.
11. Anakat reminds me of _______.
12. Without Anakat __________.
13. Classic moments with Anakat are ________.
14. Anakat can be __________.
15. Worst thing about Anakat is _________.
16. The Best thing about Anakat is _________.
17. I am ________ with Anakat.
18. One thing I wish for Anakat is ___________.
19. I hope Anakat finds _____________.
20. One lesson I hope Anakat learns is ___________.
21. Anakat will always be ___________ to me/in my life.

Tuesday, 21 August 2007

just like that.

last saturday, i was in dudley for this family sportsfest of the filipino community there. we were there as guests because my dad was suppose to be there and give a speech. so there i was, just sitting pretty looking at the hall where the program was being held. saw the audience, in their different colors representing their teams. saw the sponsors, pic-uk and metrobank, busy. and then it hit me, like a sudden jolt of lightning. the idea was infront of me the whole time and i was blind to have not seen it. in fact, i must been too pre-occupied with other stuff to take me this long. i now know what to do for the work experience that i need to build up on. following on my work experience in pnb, i can work for metrobank. i could also work for phish or bpi or allied bank and well the list goes on. it's all perfect to go into the world of finance. argh, and now summer is almost over. damn, what a waste of my summer. well, not totally. good things have happened this summer. now let me think. well there's ireland. there's barrio fiestas, one after the other. there have roadtrips and get-togethers. of course, new found friends and other stuff (i'm not gonna say. haha). i have to build up now on my resume for i'm sure when i'm in university, it's gonna be toxic. especially with my course. well atleast now, i've got something else to look forward to.

Thursday, 16 August 2007

deja vu or coincidence, what's the difference?

dé·jà vu (dā'zhä vū')

n.
1. Psychology. The illusion of having already experienced something actually being experienced for the first time.

2. a. An impression of having seen or experienced something before: Old-timers watched the stock-market crash with a distinct sense of déjà vu.
b. Dull familiarity; monotony: the déjà vu of the tabloid headlines.

co·in·ci·dence (kō-ĭn'sĭ-dəns, -dĕns')

n.
1. The state or fact of occupying the same relative position or area in space.

2. A sequence of events that although accidental seems to have been planned or arranged.

+++++

things always happen for a reason - such a cliche. but it is actually true. most of the time, we just don't know what that reasons are. you find yourself being in the same situation like before. you find things to have happened before but with a different set-up. funny how life presents with situations you can't quite understand. you aren't quite sure how to comprehend or react. you look at the similarities of the different situations and wonder. you say to yourself: 'huh? how funny. is there something here? or are you just thinking there is because you want there to be something here?' you then take a step back. look at the bigger picture. and rethink your next move. so is it deja vu or coincidence? you decide.

random stuff for today: i'm not sure if today should be a memorable day because of all that has happened. but i think i'm okay with what had happened. all of it. i'm okay. hahaha. // i'm so happy with my results. i have been complaining about it all week. my hands were literally shaking when i was opening the envelope. and i got the shock of my life. well, not really my life. but it sure was a shock. i was so happy i could faint. i could actually hug and kiss anyone there. i felt i could do anything today. haha. i just felt so happy. i haven't been that happen for a while now. thank God for it. prayers sure did help. thanks for all those who believe i could do it and all those who prayed. thanks so much!! wanna hug you all. weee.. // my celebration was cut short when i got a headache. it stopped my happiness for a while. so i had to rest for a while. // have i talked about the last book of the harry potter series? uhm well, i loved it. all questions finally get answered. i actually thought it was the best possible ending without being all corny. i highly recommend those who have stuck with harry to read this. but of course, i really don't think i need to say that twice, do i? // to my kuya migs, you were actually right. haha! thanks. we have to talk soon. // i need sleep. i need rest. is this it?

Monday, 13 August 2007

i miss the drama.

i miss the drama. i simply go along the days with usual stuff from scholl to parents to planning the next gettogether. and it's all great. but there are those days where i fing it boring or quite much routine. those days, i so miss the drama. the sudden outbreak, or the sudden jump of the heart or emotions. the feeling of confusion over wierd stuff and situations happening which is hard to understand. you get to feel almost all kinds of emotions at the same time. you cry, you smile, you laugh, you shed a tear. you sometimes actually feel so alive for you get to really feel your heart beating. but then i realize, without the drama, life is much more peaceful. there's no need to hurry any decisions. you just enjoy each day and take your time with the people around you. you get the time to think things throughly and make the right decisions. you get to be just happy.

yes, i miss the drama. but i think i am much better off without it.

Friday, 10 August 2007

I Do Not Love You Except Because I Love You

I do not love you except because I love you;
I go from loving to not loving you,
From waiting to not waiting for you
My heart moves from cold to fire.

I love you only because it's you the one I love;
I hate you deeply, and hating you
Bend to you, and the measure of my changing love for you
Is that I do not see you but love you blindly.

Maybe January light will consume
My heart with its cruel
Ray, stealing my key to true calm.

In this part of the story I am the one who
Dies, the only one, and I will die of love because I love you,
Because I love you, Love, in fire and blood.

-Pablo Neruda

Monday, 6 August 2007

ambivalence.

there are just so many things i want to say. so many feelings inside me that just wants to burst out. everything is just building inside of me. and it's getting heavy. some days i felt that it would just burst out of me. because the load i carry is getting to much to handle.

i just want to say everything that's inside of me. i want to do all that i want without stopping myself. all i want is to think about myself. i don't want to have to think about who could get hurt and what consequences my actions and words could have.

but still i choose remain shut. i choose not to act on impulse or longing. i choose to act as if nothing's bothering. i remain quiet and smile. because that's the best for everyone. even if i let it all out now. even if i just let it flow. even if i don't stop myself from feeling the way i want to feel. even if everything were not kept inside of me. nothing will change. people could get hurt. i would just feel more hurt. people who aren't concerned in the situatuions would get hurt.

sometimes i just want to break and cry and get everything over with. no more lies, no more pretending, no more holding back. i want to scream it out or just cry while trying to get the message out through my loud sobs. but then again, no more tears should be shed.

so i just close my eyes. put my hands together and pray. for a better tomorrow. for all questions to be answered. for me and all who matter to me. for He knows best.

Sunday, 5 August 2007

random.

something's wrong with me. something has come over me that i just control. it has to be stopped or should i just let it flow.

i was in a major state of nostalgia the other day. i found super old pictures from way back when. and all sorts of memories came back to me. both good and bad. each picture had a little story to tell. all the memories almost brought tears to my eyes. just like what my bestfriend said, a lot of things have changed and all of us along with it.

exam results are coming out in less than two weeks. and i don't whether i should be excited or scared. oh help me, i just want this over with.

lately, i was given the chance to go home to the Philippines. but then again, it was also taken away from me. and i don't whether i was happy or sad about it. i was sad because i wanted to go home. i was happy because.. because.. oh, i don't know anymore.

ram-ball. i love watching basketball. i love cheering my friends on. like back in high school. i usually watched my friend's or classmate's games and cheered at the sidelines. now i cheer for my dad and his team. they're not really good but i'm not saying they can't score baskets. i enjoy simply watching and cheering. especially when my dad shoots his 3 points. it's such an amazing moment. time stands still. everyone's just standing still to see if the shot goes in. and of course, i love watching him play. and i'm not refering to my dad. hehehe.

i finally done some things i should done ages ago. but i just couldn't. and now, after so long, i have. i don't understand why it took so long. and why only now. someone slap me, pinch me, shake me, wake me. then hug.

friend, i8u. you made me sad for a moment for a few reasons. don't do that again ha. hahahaha!

4 days of DINNER+DRINKS+VERY LATE NIGHTS = SICK ME.

and this is what you call rest.

Friday, 27 July 2007

rant

v., rant·ed, rant·ing, rants.
v.intr.
To speak or write in an angry or violent manner; rave.

It is something that usually happens in blogs. People write stuff in their blogs. They rant. In this such blog entries, feelings - emotions are just being poured out. When a person feels the urge to let it all out, all the words just come out naturally. There is no more thinking for the right words to say or how the words are to come out or how you want the sentence to sound like. Usually words unsaid and unheard are put into blogs for everyone to read. Of course, details may sometimes not be given out as to who the whole message is for. People who read it, just have so-called gut feelings that it is about them or who it really is for or about.

They do this because it is their way of letting it all out. Simply outpouring. While others cry, pick a fight, get drunk, smoke or talk. There is nothing wrong with it. It's some kind of therapy. It's some kind of communication bridge to get points across. To let everything out in the open without fear of the way people concerned would react. Things may get better or worse. While things can also just remain the same. Certain things also just end and are forgetten.

One common topic people usually rant about are relationships. It's really painful when romantic relationships end. However we never stop to think about when friendships end. Right now, I couldn't afford to lose a friend, any friend in my life. For certain reasons, some of us may have drifted apart for obvious reasons. But it doesn't mean the friendship between us has ended. Dealing with a broken friendship can be alot more messy and a lot more painful. This is something I have realized recently. It may not have happened to me personally but I understand how it feels. For I almost lose mine way back when.

Oh my, this entry is different from the others. It just seems so - so formal. Don't know if that's the right word to describe it. But just look at it. Argh. I think i woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. I'm just not myself and my feelings are just blank. Although my mind is just filled so many thoughts. Got nothing better to do than this. So just let me rant.

Thursday, 26 July 2007

What Does Your Birth Date Mean For Your Love Life?

Your Birthdate: November 16
Calm and understated, you struggle to express your love with words. Over time, your partner learns to recognize your passion by the actions you take. You're good at wooing someone slowly, without them even realizing it!

Number of True Loves You'll Have: 5

Number of Times You'll Have Your Heart Broken:
1

You are most compatible with people born on the 7th, 16th, and 25th of the month
.


reaction: hahahahaha! loved the number of times i'll have my heart broken and number of true loves. since it totally contradicts what has been said in the other entry on my birthday. hahahaha!

Friday, 20 July 2007

thoughts for today.

i thought summer is finally here. but when i woke up this morning, and looked out, i can hardly see the building at the other side. due to rain. pouring rain.

i thought the bad wierd dreams had stopped. but why do they keep coming back. it creeps me out. i don't want them anymore.

and lastly, i thought something's wrong with me today. what's happening to me? here i was watching a new couple together so sweet. and tears just started to fall. for no specific reason. they just did. after so long. and i couldn't stop it.

was it because i was happy for them?
did i miss that or somebody?
did i want that?
was i still sad?
did i want someone beside me now?

oh no, help.
can someone please tell me what is that all about?



Tuesday, 17 July 2007

what is in a name?

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose. By any other name would smell as sweet."


oh, i miss being called anakat (& nekat as well). nowadays, it's either anna or kat. never really said together. unless i chat or talk with a friend from back home. but that's not everday.

it's a common problem with people. to keep getting my name mixed up. sometimes it's annoying really. for example, it happened every retreat in high school. we used to give out retreat letters to our friends. and in all of the retreat letters i receive, the topic was either about my lovelife or math and 'have i spelled your name right?'. anakat is spelled like annakat or anakatt or even annakatt. well the same thing happens when spelling my name katrina, people spell with an 'h' (kathrina) or with a 'c' (catrina) or worse, with both (cathrina). oh my, my name has really so many versions. and that's just the spelling. imagine people calling me different names. like mixing me and my sister's names, and calling me carmina. then there's katherine, carmela, carmila. even my nickname has different version, hmm.. anadog, anacow, bananabat. (the funny ones.) and the list simply goes on and on.

well i guess that's how it is for everyone. maybe at the beginning atleast. most new people you meet would probably just know you by your face. or others just by your name. and maybe it's alot worse if people mistake you with another person.

i miss being called anakat. oh, did i say that already? i guess i just got so used to people calling me that. i miss introducing myself as anakat. now, it's 'hi, i'm anna.' or 'katrina po.' and of course, i respond to that now. it's just different. new life, new name, new person?

funny when i think about it, is that like they're two different people. actually it's like saying i have dual personalities, two lives. which i don't think i have for that's far too complicated. i just don't want anakat to be another memory. you know, i just don't want to go 'oh anakat, that's what people used to call me in high school, way back when.'

Sunday, 15 July 2007

all in a day's work.

oh my, what a day! actually more like, what a weekend! this year's barrio fiesta in hounslow was so much fun. it was really tiring but i'm super happy.

where do i begin? hmm.. well, who doesn't fun in barrio fiestas? it's not only in the philippines where we filipinos enjoy fiestas. but it has been brought here to london as well. and that's one thing i like about this kind of events. you have loads of fun. this is the time where you get the chance to be around thousands of filipinos which make you feel like you're back home in the philippines. and you wouldn't feel so lost in a foreign land.

i was helping out in my dad's booth. and i enjoyed it. dealing with people. giving out fliers and souvenir packs. having them complimenting my work. going on the parade as well as sideline photographer. and at the same time, laughing, eating for free (ehem, partner, ehem..Ü), joking around and lots of bonding moments (sino may gusto ng masahe? uhm, john? hehe.Ü). all good fun happy memories. i'll gladly do it again next year, for simply wonderful things come out of it.

so while waiting for next year, right now, all i can think about is what happened this past weekend. and i can't help but smile. actually i simply can't stop. so i'll just put my feet up on my bed and rest for this will be such a sweet hangover.



Friday, 13 July 2007

harry potter stuns..

The Rebellion Begins. for Evil Must Be Confronted.

stupefy! wahaha.. just watched the 5th movie of harry potter with my friends. (namely veronica, sonia and marion. just in case, they complain i didn't put their names here. peace guys!Ü) and as of atleast five minutes ago, i've watched it twice. the second time online. anyways, it was a good movie. we only felt it was cut short. we wanted more. we expected more. especially from the ending. it was like, "oh my, it's finished already?" hahaha! it ended with harry potter saying "something worth fighting for". *sigh*

what else can i say about the movie? well, let's see. hmm.. the kiss between harry potter and cho chang? uhm, it was okay? hehe. oh, i like the room of requirement. i would have lots of uses for that room. hehehe. and harry potter. oh my, he was so skinny. and he seemed so small. hehe. and for a teenager in the film, he was wearing a lot of polo shirts that make him look so much older.

well i guess we were just so engrossed and so into the movie, we didn't talk much. aside from the occasional side comments and laughing. hehe. one more thing, i just feel sad i didn't get to finish my chicken. haha! oh well..Ü

Saturday, 7 July 2007

What Kind of Smile are You?


You're the loving smile,the one that is entirely devoted to others,especially that one person.You really can't get them out of your head,but then,you don't really want to.

Take this quiz!





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Tuesday, 3 July 2007

all there is.

last day of college. i've finished my first year in college. everything turned out better than expected. after summer, 2nd year kicks in and then off to university. and that's another three years of my stay here. but this is not about the future. this is about looking back at the school year that has gone by. cherish the memories. that is something i have learned through the years. and something i keep doing these days. hay seems like yesterday i first came up those steps at hammersmith. and finally, after a year (well ten months to be exact.), i find myself walking down from the college and look around to know that i don't be here for atleast two months. it's no secret that i don't like my college. one thing all of us agree on but we sure are lucky enough to have each other in college. however, i would still miss it. during the short walk out of college, flashbacks of the year that has passed came to me. happy, sad, crazy, wierd, fun, promising, firsts, changes. and at the same time, kelly clarkson's breakaway was playing on my ipod. just the right feel-good song. with the wind blowing, i feel light. and i am happy.

so i say to the sky, rain on me now. for i wouldn't care. because just for today, nothing or no one can take that smile off my face.

Saturday, 30 June 2007

another way saying so..

a note:
you want the truth and here it is. i don't know whether fate is trying to tell me something or God is simply testing my strength. i don't understand but somehow i always seem to be in your shadow. i'd be lying if i said i didn't want to be here because there's a part of me that wants to stay. however, whenever i'm with you, i know i can never be truly and completely happy. it's like i'm in some make-believe world that only exists for you and me. then when we're apart, we lead our different separate lives and then i am left all alone to face reality. it just doesn't seem right to waste my time and all my energy on something that's actually pretense and in reality would never ever mean anything to anyone. when we're together, it's like we're stuck at a particular moment in time, no movement forward towards the future or growth as individuals. and that scares me too much. i'm scared to let go. scared to wake up and face reality. scared to show too much emotions that would only make things worse for me in the long run. scared to know that in reality i would mean nothing to you and you would actually show it. it hurts too much. i'm tired. i'm tired of pretending, lying, waiting, hurting and wasting everything on you. i deserve to be truly and completely happy. and now, i know i can't find it with you. so if ever you do decide to go back to our artificial world, i'm telling you now that you won't find me there. so don't even try to waste your time waiting for someone to come. because the harsh truth of reality is that we were never meant to be in the first place. so this is goodbye.
agatha

Friday, 15 June 2007

what time is it?

no, this is not the lyrics to the song that's from the high school musical 2. neither is this entry gonna be about the movie. so what time is it people? it's time to celebrate. it's time to reminisce, to look back and think about what has happened. this may be a long and serious entry. but i do hope you take the time to read this through.

so it has been one year since i have been here. yes, it has been one year already. one year, twelve months, three hundred sixty five days. time really has just seemed to past by. and without realizing it, we're all grown up. so grown up. change is inevitable. and it's happening everyday. there are people who come and go in my life the past year. there are those who decided to stay and there are those who had to say goodbye. there are those who have been there eversince. there are those who grow apart. and there are those who just get closer. i guess this happens in everybody's life. there will always be changes. i guess it's our choice on how we handle and adjust to that changes.

it's really hard to live a diplomatic life. most people usually build most of their lives in one place. everything they know is there. but if you lead a diplomatic life, it's hard. your memories are everywhere and friends you make are hard. hard in the sense that it's always someone new. you always meet new friends. it's fun and really great however would you rather have many new acquaintances or one or two best friends? plus everyone's everywhere. almost every friend you meet has to leave and lead life at some other place. you become really good friends and yet you still have to part. it's really hard and one can never get used to that. another thing, people think it's easy living abroad beacuse you can get whatever you want. what they don't realize is that you are far from friends and family. the simple things in life that you want are complicated. and your old life is always almost forgetten. normally, you have to let go of your old life (which, trust me, is really really hard.) they say that it is all for the best and you get to have a better life. so here's a compromise. i lead a new life, with new adventures and fun. but i still keep the people who matter the most to me.

i may not love it here as much i love it back home. but i'm enjoying myself and having loads of fun. i'm beginning to like it here and slowly build a new life. i hope all of you can share and be a part of it. plus somehow, despite everything, i'm happy here.

just some little funny random things about life here:

  • College and University are two different things. Yes, college comes first before university. College is two years while university is a minimum of three years. Aside from that, school is also different from those two. When you say school, it only means you are either in primary school or high school only. If you're in college, say college. Same thing for university. Never say you're in school when you're really in college. [Gets nyo?]

  • You can see a 24-hour store that closes at 10pm.
  • The weather is so unpredictable here. One time, it was sunny. Then, came hail. Then, it was sunny again. It then rained. After that, it was sunny again. Then, it snowed. And it became sunny again. Funny thing is this all happened in one day. Yes, London weather, so unpredictable, rubbish! Hahaha.
  • There is a different price for eating in and take out for some restaurants and cafes. Yep, it's cheaper to take out.

  • There is also different prices to watch a movie in a cinema. Yeah, it all depends what day you are watching a movie, as well as what time of day you're watching. (it's alot cheaper in the morning on a weekday.)

  • Every shop is closed on Christmas Day. There isn't even any public transportation. The city becomes a ghost town. Sad. Same thing happens on New Year's Day.

  • Stores close early on Sundays.
  • Sudoku is addictive. It keeps you busy when you are bored. Whether on the train or bus or just walking, you can see someone doing it. If you solved one, be proud.
  • The park is like the beach. Women can go sun-bathing in their bikini and guys go topless.
  • Marks & Spencer here is like SM back home. (Rexona=Sure, Whisper=Always)
  • Bus routes are all timed and according to schedule.

  • If you say you want chips, it means you want fries. Chips such as pringles are called crisps. Please don't confuse yourself.

  • If you hear the siren of a police car or an embulance, watch as all cars and buses give way to them even when there's traffic.
  • In summer, the sun sets at 10pm. In winter, the sun rises at around 6am and sets at around 3pm.
  • Time difference between Philippines and London is 7 hours. 7 hours in the summer while 8 hours in winter. You guys are ahead. Please remember that. Haha!


before i finish, here are my special thanks:

to those who tried to keep in touch but however couldn't for whatever reason. i understand we're all busy and it may be costly. and i don't really mind. although there are still times i can't help but feel sad and lonely and so left out. i just know that the friendship will always be there. hope you guys feel the same. and hope to catch up with you soon.

to those who have come and gone in this past year. thanks for the time we have spent together eventhough it was only for a short while. it was special and different. during a short while, i have learned and realized different things. in some ways, it has helped me to grow as a person. probably there's something to be learned and that's why you passed by in my life. i hope we see each other again in the future. plus i hope you still remember me when that time comes.

to those who are new in my life and yet has been such a blessing. to those who i haven't met but have been such good friends. thanks for the friendship and the love. you showed me a different kind of friendship. and i can't thank you enough for accepting me for who i am and being such wonderful people. you have put up with all my stories and the tears (and the drama). thanks for all the fun, crazy, different, cherished moments. let's have lots more. and during the short time we have spent together, you have been such good and real friends. may our friendship last wherever we are.

to those who kept in touch throughout the year. to those who have gone through the trouble of reaching out to me. to those who have proved to be real friends to me and showed me the value of true friendship. you all know who you are already. thanks for all the text messages, emails, comments and instant messaging. (sana may cards, calls or gifts na sa susunod. hahaha! joke.) somehow it lessens my feeling of homesickness. especially when you share all your stories and trust your problems with me. or when you devote some of your time in your busy lives just for me. thanks also for understanding my choices (with you-know-what.) and sticking with me. it has come and gone but we are still here. plus sorry if some times, i drop some drama on you guys. it still is hard sometimes. we may be oceans apart but it wouldn't stop us from being each other's witnesses. may you never get tired of keeping in touch. and may our true friendship have no end. amen!

to those reading this. thanks for your time. take care.

to everyone who cares. i miss you all so much. i love you guys! muwah!

note to self: happy aniv to me! one year down, five years to go. in no time, i'll be back home. yey me! plus there's no reason stopping me from going back. well atleast, not yet.

Tuesday, 12 June 2007

out of sheer boredom.

saw this online. they said it was some cool math trick. you be the judge.

Sunday, 10 June 2007

Are you a genius?

Are you a genius?
Your Result: Smartie

You are very smart and love to read. You tend to be on the quiet side. Any book is a good book and you tend to be at the top of the class. A+ is you average grade...

Wrestler
Are you a genius?
See All Our Quizzes

Friday, 25 May 2007

PIRATES ROCKS! I LOVE IT!

At the End of the World, the Adventure Begins

i watched the movie today with veronica and we just loved it. we decided in just 5mins to watch it. haha. (let's do it again very! next time we will switch cinemas. haha!) it was a cool movie. i love johnny depp. captain jack sparrow was so witty. funny part with him was seeing himself so many times. on the ship and when he was prisoner of the dutchmen. it was quite funny.

'"nobody move! i dropped my brain."
"it's just good business"
"you may throw my hat if you wish. now go and get it."
"we must fight, to run away! "
"cruel is a matter of perspective."
"if you choose to lock your heart away you'll lose her for certain."
"close your eyes and pretend it's all a bad dream. that's how I get by." (i love this.)

and of course, there was his signature flight with the rope. saw it quite a few times in the movie. i love orlando bloom. he's so cute. i love the part when he and keira knightly were getting married. the wedding scene was just so amusing. hahaha. it was when they were fighting, at the war scene. all of sudden, in between fights, he was pulling her to him and asking her to marry him and wedding vows. even captain barbosa was in on it as he was the one who wed the two.

just some quotable quotes from the movie:

"for certain, you have to be lost to find places that can't be found. elseways, everyone would know where it was." (veronica's favorite line.)
"this is madness. this is politics."
"you can fight and all of you will die, or you can surrender in which case only most of you will die."
"what is it you want the most?"
"i will be free. and when I am, i would give you my heart. and we would be together always...if only you had a heart to give."
"it's not about living forever,.....it's about living forever with yourself."
"no course is lost if but one fool is left to fight."
"the world's a smaller place now....no mate, the world's the same - there's just less in it."
"it (my heart) was always yours...will you keep it safe?"
"dying is the day worth living for."
"our fates were always intertwined,...but never joined. "
"i love you. i've made my choice. what's yours?"

it's a great movie to watch. cool. i recommend that you do. it's worth it. astig.

to those who wouldn't like it, boo you! i so want this movie on dvd.

Thursday, 24 May 2007

which HERO are you?


Your Score: Simone Deveaux


You scored 66 Idealism, 45 Nonconformity, 20 Nerdiness




You think you can paint the future. Fine, paint one without me.

Congratulations, you're Simone Deveaux! You are a loving, dedicated person with a variety of creative interests. You may however, fall in love a little too easily.

Your best quality: You are a romantic
Your worst quality: You are a romantic



Link: The Heroes Personality Test written by freedomdegrees on OkCupid, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Wednesday, 23 May 2007

ain't no sense in that

i look out. it's getting dark. the moon's beginning to shed it's light. i'm starting to feel cold. i feel the wind on my skin. it's such a nice feeling. i close my eyes. and imagine i'm floating. somewhere lying between the clouds. i feel light. like a big weight has been taken from me. no worries, no pain, no hurt, no sadness. i feel calm and relaxed. and then, i open my eyes. all there was a teardrop and a smile.

Sunday, 20 May 2007

which Superhero are you?

Your results:
You are Superman
























Superman
70%
Robin
57%
Spider-Man
55%
Wonder Woman
55%
Green Lantern
55%
Supergirl
55%
The Flash
50%
Hulk
45%
Iron Man
45%
Batman
30%
Catwoman
25%
You are mild-mannered, good,
strong and you love to help others.


Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz

Wednesday, 16 May 2007

just saying so

finals have started this week. my first exam would be on monday. maths. and believe it or not, i'm nervous and scared. hahahaay. after that, summer sets in. and earlier, my dad was talking about planning his schedule for the summer. and he was talking about europe, especially paris. woohoo! eiffel tower and disneyland! hihihi! exciting. but then, what about going home and visiting? maybe if this happened three weeks ago, i would have whined about going home and push it to happen. but now, i find it wierd. i'm confused. do you think it's a good idea to not go home for a while and maybe in another year or two? do you think that this is for the best? maybe it's just what i need. but then, i would have missed out on so much more.

Monday, 14 May 2007

time to vote

election day! weee! i don't know why i sound so excited when i'm not actually registered to vote. my dad totally forgot all about it. so no one's actually registered to vote at our house now. tsk tsk.. what a waste of six votes. haha. but anyway, it still excites me because of the counting of votes. yes, that's what i am here at the philemb for. i have been watching them as they check the ballots to see if they're valid, invalid, questionable or spoiled. then after they have done so, they start counting the votes. it's a three man team and alternating shifts. one says the name on the ballots. the other tallies the votes on the small tally sheet while the third member writes on the giant tally sheet for all to see. it's all so cool to see the tally sheet up close and personal. first time.

actually i just kid around and say that i'm here for the food. yes, free food. haha. but it's so nice to help them once in a while and being here keeps my mind of other things. it's so fun staying up late because i'm waiting for the final results here in london. although at some point while watching them, it still gets boring. so from time to time, i go to my dad's office and watched 300 online. cool movie. so overall, i just love today. and believe it or not, i'm having fun. weee..

oh, before i forget. it's really amusing to see my dad on televison as well. catch him here on tv patrol. just click the link below. fyi: to those who haven't seen my dad, he's the guy in the black suit carrying the ballot boxes around. the news clip starts at 2:18. bonus, you get to see the inside of the philemb residence. enjoy. haha.

http://www.zshare.net/video/513-tpol02-wmv.html

Sunday, 13 May 2007

wave as time passes by

time flies by so fast. this, we should all realize by now. for me, it's amazing that in one month, i have lived in the u.k for a year now. it all seems unbelievable. one year has gone by so quickly and many things have changed.

looking back, way way back, we used to be playing hide-and-seek and tag and barbie dolls and text and jackstones and all the other games we play when we were young. actually, it's better to say, when we were younger.

all day long, i have been playing with kids. even taking care of them. one was even calling me mommy. gahd, that felt old at that moment. hahaha. but atleast it lets the parents know i can be trusted. anyway, playing with the kids reminded me how fun and carefree life used to be. we just wanted to have fun and that was all that mattered.

if we are happy, we jump for joy. if we want something, we can just someone older to get it for us. if we are hurt, we simply cry. and when we cry, someone's ready to wipe our tears and comfort us. the simple life. it all seems so long ago. something like ten years ago. and look at ourselves now. i think of friends and we all are so-grown-up.

in a year or so, some of my friends are graduating from college and would venture out into the 'real' world. they would be working by then and earning money on their own. no more parents to tell us to study our lessons and do our homework. i have experienced how it is to work. yes, me, work. some are already busy doing duties and on-the-job training. sooner or later, we would all be out there. and it isn't a joke anymore. nothing would be a joke anymore. no more trials, just the real thing.

everything's changing so fast. everything's happening so soon. and it seems so surreal. someone pinch me. i must be dreaming.

Saturday, 12 May 2007

love at a distance

today's happenings lead me to think about relationships and movies. why is it that usually, it's the leading man who has to go away and leave the leading lady behind. so it's usually the girl who ends up waiting in vain for her so-called mr. right to return. sometimes he does. sometimes he doesn't. love can be so unfair. when everything is going right, life just has a funny way of letting good things come to an end. [note: i just love nelly furtado's song called 'all good things (come to an end)'. i just looove it. ]

there was once a time i believed or more likely, wanted this guy to be the one. but somehow, deep down inside, i know i was just trying to convince myself that he was actually the one. somehow i was just making believe in something i know can never really happen. the truth be told, he can never be the guy right for me. i need someone who can handle my personality and understand my complexity as a person. personally, i don't really have high expectations at all. but one thing the guy must understand is the life i lead. there are quite a few secrets he has to handle and learn to deal with. there are things that not everyone goes through and though you reading this now may not understand, it's simply put to be a complicated situation. likewise, the guy must have a backbone and actually stick to whatever says.

there should be no second thoughts. no second chances. no trials. one time, big time. no turning back.

Friday, 11 May 2007

walking in the rain

come to london and you will see that people actually walk in the rain without an umbrella. and i'm getting used to that. walking in the rain without an umbrella is fun. although the thought of getting sick isn't quite nice. but it is something you have to get used to in living here. funnily enough, i remember back home how people have umbrellas and use them when it's raining and even when the sun is burning.

i love rain. i love the feeling when i'm at my window and i look out to the pouring rain. it feels so nice. i love the sentimental thoughts i have during that moment. i love the feel of rain on my face as well. any thing that i just want to let go goes with all the raindrops that fall. all my worries and burdens drown with the rain. and it's refreshing. it just makes me feel good.

oh, i just realized elections are nearing. and it feels fun to know i'm really close to all the election processes, the ballot boxes and of course, the counting of votes. with my dad as the chairman to the election committee here in london, it's exciting. although all the talk of politics and election has been running through my ears over and over and over again. and it's getting boring. too bad i wasn't able to register this year so i won't be able to vote. dad totally forgot about it that even he isn't registered. haha. i'll just be waiting to vote for president in 2010. so to all those voting on may14, vote wisely! haha.

Wednesday, 9 May 2007

mixed emotions

ok. so here goes. i just finished watching spiderman 3 online. and i just love it. i love the fact that i can watch for free online. cool.

today was a good day. i remembered this morning where i was stuck in the middle of 3 vietnamese friends from college. they were talking in vietnamese and i couldn't understand a single word they were saying. i felt left out. and it was so wierd. how i wish i could understand vietnamese. it would be such a laugh to know what they were actually saying without them knowing. hahaha.

i hate when i'm alone to my thoughts. i daydream alot. the one particular scene i always have in mind is that day in february. to be exact, february 25, 2006. somehow i wanted things to be different. i always remember what song you were playing. and somehow i wish i could have played my cards differently. how i wish. oh, how i wish. i wish he could have known. i wish i felt this way about him before that day. and maybe, just maybe everything would be different.

so the whole day was going okay when i had this short talk with my friend. when the call ended, it felt different. well, atleast i felt different. all of sudden, i felt like a knife was stabbed through my heart. i felt sad. i felt like anytime soon, i would be on the verge of tears. which i didn't want to happen. i was fighting everything back and just wanted to keep it to myself. but i couldn't. so i called my friend back and blamed him for me feeling this way. hahaha. well, it was really his fault for making feel this way and remind me of things i don't want to remember. somehow everything turned okay. and probably i'll be able to get a good night sleep.

Tuesday, 8 May 2007

runaway from here

last weekend was just so much fun. the getaway from civilization was just what i needed for a fresh start. for two days i was disconnected from almost all technology. i felt i was detached from everything i held so tightly in the past. on the edge of the cliff, i just wanted to scream and shout and let everything out. i wanted to run wild and free. i wanted to scream everything out and say whatever i want to say. and all i have to do is leave it behind in wales.

to be honest, the whole thing of moving on is hard and easy in a way. it's easy because i've been busy. all of a sudden, i find myself having lots of things to do and places i have to go to and things to celebrate. it's very rare that i be alone to my thoughts which scare me. it's hard because it hurts. at times, i just want to cry but i have to stop myself. sometimes i don't actually have the tears to shed.

plus there are dreams that i don't want to remember or even think about. the kind of dreams where it shows what exactly you want to happen or what you have been constantly thinking about lately. i had this dream last night. and it scared me. they say dreams could come true while others say that opposite happens in real life. and i do hope the opposite happens.

we all go through different things in our life. and they are suppose to make us stronger. and most of all, they serve a purpose, a lesson to be learned. somehow i think about what is the purpose for all of this to happen. i just want to know.

is it something for me to put in mind?
it is some preparation for future endeavours?
is it even something that is suppose to be special to me for the rest of life?

i don't really know or understand. for now, i just want to move on and live my life without it.
there's no turning back. not now or ever.



Monday, 7 May 2007

what my name means..

You entered: anna katrina toledo catapang

There are 25 letters in your name.
Those 25 letters total to 94
There are 11 vowels and 14 consonants in your name.

What your first name means:
Swedish - Female - Grace.
Russian - Female - Grace.
Native American - Female - Mother (Algonquin).
Latin - Female - Variant of Anne. Biblical; devout woman who saw infant Jesus presented at the temple in Jerusalem. Daughter of Dido.
Hebrew - Female - Favour or grace. Prayer. God has favoured me. Variant of Hannah.
Greek - Female - A variant of Hannah. In Virgil's 'Aeneid', Anna was sister of Dido, Queen of Carthage. According to an apocryphal gospel, Anna was also the mother of the Virgin Mary.
English - Male - Name of a king.
English - Female - Variant of Anne, meaning favor; grace.
Biblical - Female - Gracious; one who gives.
Arthurian Legend - Female - Arthur's sister.
Anglo-Saxon - Male - Name of a king.


Your number is: 4

The characteristics of #4 are: A foundation, order, service, struggle against limits, steady growth.

The expression or destiny for #4:
Order, service, and management are the cornerstones of the number 4 Expression. Your destiny is to express wonderful organization skills with your ever practical, down-to-earth approach. You are the kind of person who is always willing to work those long, hard hours to push a project through to completion. A patience with detail allows you to become expert in fields such as building, engineering, and all forms of craftsmanship. Your abilities to write and teach may lean toward the more technical and detailed. In the arts, music will likely be your choice. Artistic talents may also appear in such fields as horiculture and floral arrangement, as well. Many skilled physicians and especially surgeons have the 4 Expression.

The positive attitudes of the 4 Expression yield responsibility; you are one who no doubt, fulfills obligations, and is highly systematic and orderly. You are serious and sincere, honest and faithful. It is your role to help and you are required to do a good job at everything you undertake.

If there is too much 4 energies present in your makeup, you may express some of the negative attitudes of the number 4. The obligations that you face may tend to create frustration and feelings of limitation or restriction. You may sometimes find yourself nursing negative attitudes in this regard and these can keep you in a rather low mood. Avoid becoming too rigid, stubborn, dogmatic, and fixed in your opinions. You may have a tendency to develop and hold very strong likes and dislikes, and some of these may border on the classification of prejudice. The negative side of 4 often produces dominant and bossy individuals who use disciplinarian to an excess. These tendencies must be avoided. Finally, like nearly all with 4 Expression, you must keep your eye on the big picture and not get overly wrapped up in detail and routine.

Your Soul Urge number is: 6

A Soul Urge number of 6 means:
With a number 6 Soul Urge, you would like to be appreciated for your ability to handle responsibility. Your home and family are likely to be a strong focus for you, perhaps the strongest focus of your life. Friendship, love, and affection are high on your list of priorities for a happy life. You have a lot of diplomatic tendencies in your makeup, as you a able to rectify and balance situations with an innate skill. You like working with people rather than by yourself. It is extremely important for you to have harmony in your environment at all times.

The positive side of the 6 Soul Urge produces a huge capacity for responsibility; you are always there and ready to assume more than your share of the load. If you possess positive 6 Soul Urges and express them, you are known for your generosity, understanding and deep sympathetic attitude. Strong 6 energy is very giving of love, affection, and emotional support. You may have the inclination to teach or serve your community in other idealistic ways. You have natural abilities to help people. You are also likely to have artistic and creative leanings.

If you have an over-supply of 6 energy in your makeup, you may express some of the negative traits common to this number. With such a strong sympathetic attitude, it is easy to become too emotional. Sometimes the desires to render help can be over done, and it can become interfering and an attitude that is too protective, rather than helpful. The person with too much 6 energy often finds that people tend to take advantage of this very giving spirit. You may tend to repress your own needs so that you can cater to the demands from others. At times, there may be a tendency in this, for becoming over-loaded with such demands, and as a result become resentful.

Your Inner Dream number is: 7

An Inner Dream number of 7 means:
You dream of having the opportunity to read, study, and shut yourself off from worldly distractions. You can see yourself as a teacher, mystic, or ecclesiastic, spending your life in the pursuit of knowledge and learning.

Saturday, 5 May 2007

date of birth

16 November 1988

Your date of conception was on or about 24 February 1988 which was a Wednesday.

You were born on a Wednesday
under the astrological sign Scorpio.
Your Life path number is 8.

Life Path Compatibility:
You are most compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 2, 4, 8, 11 & 22.
You should get along well with those with the Life Path number 6.
You may or may not get along well with those with the Life Path numbers 1 & 5.
You are least compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 3, 7 & 9.

The Julian calendar date of your birth is 2447481.5.
The golden number for 1988 is 13.
The epact number for 1988 is 11.
The year 1988 was a leap year.

Your birthday falls into the Chinese year beginning 2/17/1988 and ending 2/5/1989.
You were born in the Chinese year of the Dragon.







Your Native American Zodiac sign is Snake; your plant is Thistle.

You were born in the Egyptian month of Tyby, the first month of the season of Poret (Emergence - Fertile soil).

Your date of birth on the Hebrew calendar is 7 Kislev 5749.
Or if you were born after sundown then the date is 8 Kislev 5749.

The Mayan Calendar long count date of your birthday is 12.18.15.9.17 which is
12 baktun 18 katun 15 tun 9 uinal 17 kin

The Hijra (Islamic Calendar) date of your birth is Wednsday, 6 Rabi'u'th-Thani 1409 (1409-4-6).

The date of Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 3 April 1988.
The date of Orthodox Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 10 April 1988.
The date of Ash Wednesday (the first day of Lent) on your birth year was Wednesday 17 February 1988.
The date of Whitsun (Pentecost Sunday) in the year of your birth was Sunday 22 May 1988.
The date of Whisuntide in the year of your birth was Sunday 29 May 1988.
The date of Rosh Hashanah in the year of your birth was Monday, 12 September 1988.
The date of Passover in the year of your birth was Saturday, 2 April 1988.
The date of Mardi Gras on your birth year was Tuesday 16 February 1988.

As of 5/9/2007 7:55:51 AM EDT
You are 18 years old.
You are 222 months old.
You are 964 weeks old.
You are 6,748 days old.
You are 161,959 hours old.
You are 9,717,595 minutes old.
You are 583,055,751 seconds old.

Celebrities who share your birthday:
Trevor Penick (1979) Oksana Baiul (1977) Lisa Bonet (1967)
Dwight Gooden (1964) Shigeru Miyamoto (1952) Daws Butler (1916)
Burgess Meredith (1908)

Top songs of 1988
Roll with It by Steve Winwood
Every Rose Has Its Thorn by Poison
One More Try by George Michael
Look Away by Chicago
Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley
Sweet Child O' Mine by Guns N' Roses
Anything for You by Gloria Estefan & Miami Sound Machine
Get Outta My Dreams, Get into My Car by Billy Ocean
Man In the Mirror by Michael Jackson
The Flame by Cheap Trick

Your age is the equivalent of a dog that is 2.64109589041096 years old. (Life's just a big chewy bone for you!)

There are 191 days till your next birthday
on which your cake will have 19 candles.

Those 19 candles produce 19 BTUs,
or 4,788 calories of heat (that's only 4.7880 food Calories!) .
You can boil 2.17 US ounces of water with that many candles.


In 1988 there were approximately 3.7 million births in the US.
In 1988 the US population was approximately 226,545,805 people, 64.0 persons per square mile.
In 1988 in the US there were 2,389,000 marriages (9.7%) and 1,183,000 divorces (4.8%)
In 1988 in the US there were approximately 1,990,000 deaths (8.8 per 1000)
In the US a new person is born approximately every 8 seconds.
In the US one person dies approximately every 12 seconds.

In 1988 the population of Australia was approximately 16,687,082.
In 1988 there were approximately 246,193 births in Australia.
In 1988 in Australia there were approximately 116,816 marriages and 41,007 divorces.
In 1988 in Australia there were approximately 119,866 deaths.


Your birthstone is Citrine

The Mystical properties of Citrine

Citrine is said to help one connect with Spirit.
Some lists consider these stones to be your birthstone. (Birthstone lists come from Jewelers, Tibet, Ayurvedic Indian medicine, and other sources)

Yellow Topaz, Pearl, Diamond

Your birth tree is

Chestnut Tree, the Honesty
Of unusual beauty, does not want to impress, well-developed sense of justice, vivacious, interested, a born diplomat, but irritable and sensitive in company, often due to a lack of self-confidence, acts sometimes superior, feels not understood, loves only once, has difficulties in finding a partner.


There are 230 days till Christmas 2007!
There are 243 days till Orthodox Christmas!

The moon's phase on the day you were
born was in its first quarter.

Thursday, 3 May 2007

I Can't Make You Love Me

I'll let the song do the talking... This is how I feel.


I Can't Make You Love Me

Turn down the lights, turn down the bed
Turn down these voices inside my head
Lay down with me, tell me no lies
Just hold me close, don't patronize - don't patronize me

'Cause I can't make you love me if you don't
You cant make your heart feel something it won't
Here in the dark, in these final hours
I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power
But you won't, no you won't
'Cause I can't make you love me, if you don't


I'll close my eyes, then I won't see
The love you don't feel when you're holding me
Morning will come and I'll do what's right
Just give me till then to give up this fight
And I will give up this fight


'Cause I can't make you love me if you don't
You cant make your heart feel something it won't
Here in the dark, in these lonely hours
I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power
But you won't, no you won't
Cause I can't make you love me, if you don't

Ain't no use in crying, baby.

Tuesday, 1 May 2007

finally.

yes, finally. i've been so busy all week that i haven't really been able to sit down in front of my laptop for long and actually write about stuff i have done and been thinking. and now i'm thinking it's been a week. a busy week for me here. and a quiet one about me from over there. time flies so fast and i'm ok with it. it still hurts sometimes and i'm sad. but it only lasts for a few minutes and no tears are shed.

life goes on. we are all now going through different things in our lives. some are happy. some are in love. some have things that bother them. some are sad. some are busy. some are lost. but we still all have each other. despite distance, time and everything else in between. i still have my friends. during the ups and downs in my life. even when agreed with my choices or not. even though i'm here. there would always be there for me. i know they got my back. which is why i'm so blessed to have them. and i'll be forever thankful.

thank you guys. you already know why.



Sunday, 29 April 2007

what major is right for me

You scored as Accounting/Finance/Marketing. You should strongly consider majoring (or minoring) in Accounting, Finance, Economics, Marketing, or related majors (e.g., Computer/Management Information Systems (CIS or MIS), Entrepreneurship, International Business, Operations Management, Public Administration, Real Estate, Risk Management, Sports Management).


It is possible that the best major for you is your 2nd, 3rd, or even 5th listed category, so be sure to consider ALL majors in your OTHER high scoring categories (below). You may score high in a category you didnt think you would--it is possible that a great major for you is something you once dismissed as not for you. The right major for you will be something 1) you love and enjoy and 2) are really great at it.


Consider adding a minor or double majoring to make yourself standout and to combine your interests. Please post your results in your myspace/blog/journal.

Accounting/Finance/Marketing

94%

Mathematics/Statistics

88%

Education/Counseling

88%

HR/BusinessManagement

63%

PoliticalScience/Philosophy

56%

Psychology/Sociology

56%

English/Journalism/Comm

56%

Physics/Engineering/Computer

56%

Nursing/AthleticTraining/Health

50%

French/Spanish/OtherLanguage

50%

Visual&PerformingArts

44%

History/Anthropology/LiberalArts

44%

Religion/Theology

44%

Biology/Chemistry/Geology

25%

WHAT MAJOR IS RIGHT FOR YOU?
created with QuizFarm.com

Thursday, 26 April 2007

i feel good.

today's turning out to be quite a good day despite me being a little sad in the morning. but now, i'm ok. i really am.

during math class, i feel i was in high school again. the topics we were doing was something i learned third year. so it was sort of boring. angles, quandrants, soh-cah-toa, cast. you know, stuff like that. stuff you wouldn't really need and use in the real world. but still have to learn it to finish school. and then graduate and work and forget all about this.

i was suprised when one of my friends gave chocolates to ease the pain and hurt and to recover. i was so touched by that. no one has ever given chocolates or anything before to ease the pain or just because break-ups happen. like in movies, you eat alot of ice cream and have tissues in hand with friends. yes, there were advices and comfort and hugs. but this was different, i never expected it at all. plus surprisingly, i'm handling this situation pretty well. better than i expected.



Tuesday, 24 April 2007

new start.

it's the start of a new chapter in my life. looking back on all the entries in my old blog, it seems i have been putting to much focus on my love life. it's about time i let go and move on. and maybe this is the first step. i'm gonna live my life one day at a time.