back to normal. almost.

friends. finally, we're now complete. my friend just came back from vietnam and we missed her. she was gone for a month. and who knew a month flew by that fast. now i think it was only like yesterday, i was talking to her on the phone while she was at the airport, about to board the plane. and now, it was as if she never left at all.

results. yes, the dreaded day has arrived. our results for our january exams arrived today. and well, there are the good and the bad. there were shockers and the expected and the uhm, the okay grades. finding out the results was heart-stopping in a way that i didn't want to find out what they were and at the same time, i was so curious. today, i would just let everything sink in and then tomorrow i would something about it.

responsibility. i miss having alot of responsibilities to do at school. i miss being busy. and i miss being in charge. i like the feeling and you are able to do something to be proud of or something that is worth all that trouble. i like the satisfaction of a job well done.

chances. take chances and take risks and making the first step to change. my best friend and i keep telling each other that 2008 is our year, 2008 is the year we make all our dreams come true. and i wanna make it come true. i wanna fulfill this statement. i want to promise that to myself. but i don't want to get disappointed in the end. however for now, slowly and surely, i would take one step at a time. and take chances i have never done before.

so looks like almost everything is back to normal. no more procrastinating. no more time wasted. some days i still can't believe it's march already. and slowly, my life is starting to pick up. people around me and things are happening so fast that i feel i might get left behind. so i guess i better start running now.

to my mom.

ok, so today is Mother's Day. i looked up its definition on the web and according to wikipedia, "Mother's Day is a day honouring mothers, celebrated on various days in many places around the world. Mothers often receive gifts on this day." for those who don't know, in the UK and Ireland, others' Day is also called Mothering Sunday and is usually held on the fourth week of lent which is exactly three weeks before Easter Sunday. in others countries, such like back home in the Phils., it is on the third sunday of may. others would say this is just another hallmark holiday but i don't see any harm or anything wrong in giving your mom a warm tight hug for Mother's Dday.

honestly, my mom and i are on okay terms. we aren't exactly close friends but we're good. although there are times when i just don't get her or understand. and vice versa. i can blame it on age gap. or blame it on responsibility. or blame it on who my mom is and what she can do. or simply blame it on difference of generations. despite all that, we try to make it work. with a little bit of patience and understanding. it's pretty much just like any other relationship that needs working on and making a little piece of effort. and besides, i think my mom is my strength and corny as this may sound, she is like the wind beneath my wings. i would always like to make her proud of me. besides, at the end of the day, she is still my mother. and i will forever be thankful for all that she has done for me and my sister.

Song for Mama - Boyz2Men

Mama - SpiceGirls

just a small piece of advice to people, when it comes to Mother's Day, cards and gifts become insignificant, once you decide to give your moms a big tight embrace and tell her "i love you and thank you." it doesn't matter how old you are or if you think it's corny. those moments are priceless.

to my mom, happy mother's day. thank you. i love you. now and always.

do you wish for more time?

what if you had more time, what would you do? what if you had an extra day, where you be and who are you with?

time flies by real fast. sooner or later, it would already be 2009. we usually need or ask for more time in our busy lives. sometimes though, others would even want time to stand still or actually stop for a moment because they just want to live in that moment forever. believe me, there are those times you wished time just stood still so certain things lasted longer or even forever.

obviously i'm writing this because it's february 29, the extra day in a leap year, which happens every 4 years. today is an extra day to either do something different (or nothing special really. all depends on you) and today was a good day for me. my friend sonia wanted to eat at pizza hut so we made an excuse to eat lunch out. and that was to celebrate february 29, just because it is and that we might not be able spend the next leap year day together. other than that, everything went well. and there was definitely lots of laughs and pictures and more food. a good day, definitely.

so back to my question. having this extra day of the year, what would i do? i could hang out with a friend i haven't seen or talked to in a while, chill and talk in starbucks or walk around london. i could have a spa day - a day where i go to the spa and relax my nerves from the busy schedule. i could just sleep, sleep the whole day because i lack/want/need sleep. i also could go about it like i do on any given day. anything is possible really. but one thing i'd most prefer is to be with friends or family and sharing a good laugh or a nice moment. i simply want more laughs.

i want everyday to be like this day, ending with a smile on my face.

Speech of a Lifetime: What would you say?

Randy Pausch Lecture: Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams

Carnegie Mellon Professor Randy Pausch, who is dying from pancreatic cancer, gave his last lecture at the university Sept. 18, 2007, before a packed McConomy Auditorium. In his moving talk, "Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams," Pausch talked about his lessons learned and gave advice to students on how to achieve their own career and personal goals. For more, visit www.cmu.edu/randyslecture.

"Journeys" are special University Lectures in which Carnegie Mellon faculty members share their reflections on their journeys -- the everyday actions, decisions, challenges and joys that make a life.

Lecture of a Lifetime

ok, so as you realize, this lecture was from last year and i only stumbled accross this yesterday. it was posted in one of the groups i was in in multiply. and i was touched by what i saw and heard. he was a good speaker and got me hooked. he actually got me thinking what my childhood dreams were. and for sure, i did loads of them. from becoming a teacher to a lawyer to a diplomat to a vj, and well you can say, the list goes on.

i now i'm still quite young to think about the lecture of my lifetime or whatever words of wisdom to be the topic of my last speech. i 'm not sure of what i have accomplished or what i can really be proud of. i guess there are many things to be proud of my childhood and teenage years. soon enough, i would no longer be a teen and be responsible for more things about my own life. i know that i have to make my dreams come true, and they will. but i just can help but still feel scared of what can happen. i'm scared i may not be able to handle everything. all i want to do right now is be careful of each step i make so that i can look back with no regrets. fingers crossed for now.

if you just listen carefully..

have you ever listened to a song and felt that the song was about you? that the song was telling exactly how you feel? that the song was exactly what you had in mind, in your thoughts? have you ever listened to a song and it touched a certain emotion in you that caused there to be some tears? imagine yourself quietly listening to songs on your ipod. and then playing is this song, and all of sudden you find yourself crying.

i'm sure you now have a certain song in mind. i mean who hasn't, right?

but have you ever listened to a song, which you have absolutely no idea what the song is about because you don't understand the lyrics, and you just smiled or shed a tear? you're listening to this unfamiliar song in another language and you just start crying.

call me crazy but that's what i'm feeling right now. i'm listening to this song in korean and it's so beautiful that it brings tears to my eyes. so then i searched for any english translation, and eventhough some of the lines weren't in correct grammer, it just made perfect sense.

(if you're asking me how i ended up listening to a song in korean and kinda falling in love with it, this is how. Coffee Prince also known as The 1st Shop of Coffee Prince. it's such a funny, cute and sweet koreanovela, which is being shown on pinoy tv back home and i just love it. i kinda got addicted. and yeah, that's pretty much the gist of it. now moving on. btw, click here for the english translation.)

ok so maybe i felt that way, the first time i heard it yesterday, because i have been quite moody lately and feeling all sort of sentimental feelings and emotions i haven't felt for a while. but i tried listening again today, and it was just still a beautiful song. it actually made me feel good.

what made it sound so good? was it the melody? was it the lyrics? was it the message of the song? maybe the singer or the band? i don't know. i don't know even if it was because of the show or because i was feeling emotional. maybe it's a bit of everything. tell me what you think. so sit back, close your eyes and just listen carefully.

i miss manila

i miss manila.

i miss the lights. i miss the food. i miss the sounds. i miss the jeepneys and the tricycles. i miss the warm weather. i miss the people. i miss everything. i didn't exactly grow up in the heart of the city. but i miss it. when you are abroad, like i am, you'll feel the way i feel. you'll feel proud of being Pinoy and will miss it always.

this entry is not gonna be long so let me just sum up everything in a song by Amber Davis entitled Manila. hope you like it as much as i do.

INTRO
(Take me back to the place I love
Take me back to the place I love, uhuh uhuh huh
Take me back to the place I love
Take me back to the place I love, uhuh uhuh)

I remember when were kids
Having barbeques in the bukid
When the brownouts came, we were never alone
We just played in the streets till the lights came on
Six o'clock in the mornin'
Bakery just opened
We can smell the bread, it was cooking from a mile away
Ain't nothing like a fresh piece to start your day in...

CHORUS
Manila (Manila, Manila)
I'm comin' back to Manila
(The only place that I call home, home)
I'm comin' back to...
Manila (Manila, Manila)
I'm comin' back to Manila
The only place that I call home, home)

Signal to the jeepney (pick me up)
Take me to the place where (I grew up)
Back to the kids in the park where we played all day
Some had a shed for a home but it was all okay
'Cause in Manila, we're all the same
Everybody's waiting for things to change
In the barrio, that's how it is
We didn't care much 'cause we were kids, oh

CHORUS
(Manila, Manila)
I'm comin' back to Manila
(The only place that I call home, home)
I'm comin' back to...
Manila (Manila, Manila)
I'm comin' back to Manila
(The only place that I call home, home)

RAP
I've been gone for a minute but I'm on the next flight
And the plane man says we can make it by night
Can't wait to touch down in my old hometown
Had a girl, we used to kick it but I doubt she's still around, yoh
It's all good 'cause I'm back in the jungle
Where the girls in bikinis all come in a bundle
And pain and poverty is everywhere
But when the smoke all clears, it's only love in the air
I've been gone too long

Gone too long
I'm comin' home (comin' back to the place I love)
Gone too long
I'm comin' home (comin' back to the place I love)
I'm comin' back to Manila

Yo yo yo yo
I say, babalik ako sa Manila, Manila
Babalik ako sa Manila, Manila
Babalik ako sa Manila, Manila
Babalik ako, babalik ako, babalik
Babalik ako sa Manila, Manila
Babalik ako sa Manila, Manila
Babalik ako sa Manila, Manila
Babalik ako, babalik ako, babalik

I'm comin' home (Manila, Manila, Manila, Manila)
I'm comin' back to Manila (comin' back to the place I love)
I'm comin' back to Manila (Manila, Manila, Manila, Manila)
I'm comin' back to Manila (comin' back to the place I love)
(Manila, Manila, Manila, Manila, Manila)
(Comin' back to the place I love)
Comin' back to the place I love
Comin' back to the place I love
Comin' back to the place I love

Announcement: Blogger now in Filipino

i just found out that Blogger has announced that it now comes in Filipino. this is a nice development. they say it's 'bout time that the Filipino community's blogging power is now recognised as well. Philippines will soon be not just the world's SMS capital, but also the blogging capital. and considering that Friendster still hasn't put its site in Filipino, this is great news.

click on the photo in the link and you'll find Blogger's sign-up page in Tagalog. haha. i find it so cute when i see all links and words in tagalog. amazing. hehe.

now, will there be more Pinoys blogging because of this? we'll just have to wait and see.

http://buzz.blogger.com/2008/02/blogger-now-in-filipino.html#links

a grand debutante's ball

isn't it usually a big thing when a girl turns 18? we dream of a grand debutante ball with the most beautiful gown that just seems to be just your size and be waking down a red carpet ( others an aisle or staircase) to be accompanied by your escort and you're just the most beautiful girl in the whole room. i guess you get it now, i'm talking about all that glamour and splendor, the whole shebang. of course, you wish to be surrounded by friends and family and all those people who have become a significant part of your life.

one highlight of that night is the 18 somethings. 18 roses, candles, treasures, balloons, shots, etc., which we allocate to significant people in our life. the significant people who have touched our lives, who have influenced us and who have been there throughout our journey for the past 18 years. then there would be tears, hugs, laughter and more tears of joy. this night is all about you.

most girls dream of that big night, our would-be perfect night that we are to remember forever. like what they say, it's not everyday that a girl turns 18. however, not all girls have plans of celebrating it the way i just described it, but for those who do, wouldn't it have it any other way.

i guess you realize by now, i'm guilty of one thing. i'm guilty of the fact that i am one of those girls who dream of their once-in-a-lifetime perfect night. i dreamed of walking down a red carpet on a staircase. and going down, i can see my escort waiting at the end of the stairs with a huge bouquet, alongside with my parents. i can also see all my friends and family there watching on. all night, i would be surrounded by friends and loved ones. there would alot of tears of joy, laughter, smiles, hugs, gifts, pictures, dancing, surprises and memories to cherish. however this dream didn't quite come true for me. moving to london just when i was about to turn 18 didn't help at all.

the other night, i attended a party of a girl turning 13 years old and did she have a grand birthday celebration. almost like those grand debutant birthdays, complete with her roses and candles. except that she didn't dance with any of her roses nor did any of her candles said a message. her reason for that was because she wants her first dance to be with a special someone. (in other words: boyfriend. she wants her first slow dance to be with her boyfriend.)

i remember my first slowdance. it was with someone who meant alot to me that time and i guess will always be special. (of course, he doesn't know that and i'm definitely not gonna tell him that.) but unlike that girl, i want my last dance to be the most special. so i hope he comes soon and asks me to dance. because the song is about to end. (but i know that my last dance wouldn't stop eventhough the music has stopped playing.)

dancing the night away

have you ever gone to a party where there was dancing, and you just sat at your table and watched people dancing? sometimes it's actually funny. sometimes it's depressing and sad. (but only when slow music is playing.) sometimes it makes you feel good. (especially when you're going crazy on the dance floor.) but it's actually surprising what kind of things you realize by simply watching.

line dancing:

a funny dance to see at a party dance floor. and mostly women dance it. so i looked it up. definition of line dance: 'A dance in which individuals line up without partners and follow a choreographed pattern of steps to country music.' ok so i guess that's simple enough then. i like to think that this dance was created for those people with two left feet. and that they may be able to join in the fun on the dance floor. hey, that's just what i think anyway.

ballroom dancing:

personally, it's very nice to see this. it looks so graceful. just like in the movies such as shall we dance and take the lead. it takes some practice to get it all right. with the right partner and the right amount of dedication, it's gonna turn out beautiful and simply amazing.

slow dancing:

"here's to valentine's day", that's what the dj said when he started playing sweet slow music. and like third-fourths of the people on the dance floor went back to their seats. there was just like five couples on the dance floor. while i was watching, there was a certain feeling that came to me. memories as well came to me with the songs playing. i blame the bad choice of songs. hahaha. kidding aside, i felt the longing for someone to dance with. someone to hold me close and whisper sweet nothings in my ear. someone to be holding me close and feel his heartbeat beating with mine. someone in whose arms i can feel warmth, comfort, and i get to forget everything around me as if time has stood still for the both of us. i'm not pertaining to my past anymore. i think i have passed that stage by now. i'm now just longing for that feeling again.

whoa, single awareness didn't hit me until today, but boy for a moment there, did it hit me hard. on the other side, it gives me hope. to have that final last dance i've been waiting for.

honestly, i love the dance floor. not many people know this, but somehow i am a frustrated dancer. and it's fun to dance. you are also able to let out certain emotions through your dance. just like blogging, dance is an outlet for emotions. i like the satisfaction i get from dancing. it's nice to get your heart beating fast, makes you feel alive. so once you hear the music, don't hold back. who cares if you're looking like a fool? just dance your heart out. and for that moment, nothing else matters. you know what they say,

"Work like you don't need money,

Love like you've never been hurt,
And dance like no one's watching."

The Do's and Don'ts of Romantic Comedies

Real lessons in love you learn from the movies.

okay, so i got this online. and i just had to share this. being the hopeless romantic i am, i just love romantic comedies and can't get enough of them. who knows, maybe you too can learn a thing or two from this.

Four Weddings and a Funeral Lesson: Don't be afraid to mingle at weddings.

hey, weddings are suppose to be fun. not another day to remind you that you are single. it's suppose to give you hope that it would be your turn someday. hey, maybe you could catch a bouquet or two.

Say Anything Lesson: Do make a grand romantic gesture.

sometimes it's not enough just saying 'i love you' to people. sometimes actions speak louder than words. sometimes they could even mean more.

When Harry Met Sally Lesson: Don't rule out an old friend.

Bridget Jones' Diary Lesson: Don't date your boss (even if he's cute).

it's just gets too complicated. don't mix business with pleasure. well that's what they say anyway.

Hairspray Lesson: Do go after what you really want.

Hitch Lesson: Don't try and outsmart the game.

okay, it's been said that love is a game. and in every game, there are rules. you can memorize all the rules and think you're all ready to outsmart the game, only to find out that there is an exception to every rule.

My Big Fat Greek Wedding Lesson: Do try to get along with their family.

for me, this is a BIG MUST. really.

The 40-Year-Old Virgin Lesson: Don't listen to your moronic friends.

you are the best person to know what to do. in the end, it would be your own initiative and your own decision. but sometimes a different perspective wouldn't hurt.

The Wedding Singer Lesson: Do look beyond the mullet.

You've Got Mail Lesson: Don't spend so much time on the internet.

hmm.. okay, so certain love stories start from online chatting and certain friendly networks. but sometimes it's so much more fun to go out and mingle. the internet can be so deceiving and so fake. just be careful.

source: http://movies.yahoo.com/feature/dosanddontsofromanticcomedies.html

quotes unlimited

just because it's february 14 and obviously, valentine's day. where love, love is all around. (or possibly lack thereof.) let me share some quotes to all of you.

it's always a risk to like someone. it involves time, patience and understanding to get someone's heart to open up.
at times, it will work. other times, it won't. but that's why you call it a risk - you invest in something and there's a possibility you won't win.
however, you will get something in return: strength of heart and mind, and the assurance that you won't have any regrets from not trying.

at one time in your life, the one that you have loved the most will unexpectedly turn out to be the greatest stranger you have ever met.

when you're hurt, it's okay to flirt. to date. to hate. to mingle with other people. to drink. to cry to laugh out loud. to scream. and to dance wild.
you know why?
'coz when you're hurt, you don't owe anyboday any explanation on how you choose to repair what that person broke.
live your life as you wish..until you're whole again.

be with someone who knows what they have when they have you. love someone whose heart have been broken, so he/she knews exactly how it feels, and wont breaks yours.

in the end, only 3 things matter:
how much you loved
how gentle you lived,
and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you.

As you grow older, it gets harder just to believe. It's not that you don't want to, but too much has happened.

single awareness day

february. yep, it's the love month. the happy hearts month. and the most awaited february 14 is coming up. for lovers and couples, it's called valentine's day. but for those singles like me, it's what i like to call single awareness day (aka S.A.D.). it's called single awareness day because on that day, you become so aware that you are single due to the surroundings and that everywhere you go, you see sweet couples and dates and hearts and kisses and gifts and chocolates and flowers and all that romantic stuff. and sometimes you just get sick of too much mushiness around you. (of course, you're secretly jealous and wish you received one.) you already know you're single, and they seem to just be shoving it in your face. (argh!! haha.)

just added information, another definition for single awareness day, which i got from a friend's blog. single awareness day: "a season when people of all gender who are currently single will start to mourn on that cursed day when they see hearts all around..." i would also quote another friend on this and it goes like this, "Like we need another day of the year to remind us to feel like shit because we're single! Lol"

but you know what, to be honest, it's not really that bad. and i'm actually happy and excited. it's been a while since i felt happy about this day. let me look back at the past few years that i actually celebrated feb14. hmm..
2002 - just got one red rose. from whom? i will not say. why? i don't really know.
2004 - my first ever bongga-cious valentine's day. complete with a chocolate bouquet, a chocolate heart, teddy bear, card, a sort-of date, pictures (i think i lost them already.) and a necklace (the pendant has a different girl's name on it. hmm..imagine that).
2005 - nothing happened really. eventhough i kinda had someone special.
2006 - first time i was single again. it was kinda sad. but i just celebrated it with my best friends.
2007 - this was another sad day. i had someone special. but i was a million miles away. you see i was in a long-distance relationship. so that just doesn't work too good. (most of the time anyway)
2008 - well, can a single awareness day turn into a happy valentine's day? we'll just have to wait and see. plus we'll find out soon anyway.

you see, my friends have been blogging about this day so i decided what the heck?, i'll do one too. and here it is. so my message to all those celebrating valentine's day, stay happy in love. enjoy the special day made for all lovers in the world. for those unfortunate like me, who will spending S.A.D., don't fret. you are not alone. it doesn't neccessarily have to be a sad or depressing day. you can turn it all around and still enjoy that day. try spending it with all your single friends. you could also drink up or do something crazy. my friends and i were thinking of wearing black on that day. and when they ask why, we would say we're in mourning. hahahaha. (ok, so that's suppose to be a joke. please, i hope no one thinks we're trying to be more depressed or something.) but whatever you decide to do, please enjoy yourself and smile. always remember what they say, true love waits. (or true love is delayed. haha.Ü)

happy feb14 everyone.Ü

i fall again

you think it was gonna be your typical friday - boring, in front of the computer, just at home. and you find out you're completely, absolutely, terribly wrong.

yes, i fell down again. this time, harder than ever. nothing in life is ever easy to get. people may think that all that i want is within my reach. but they're wrong. it's not easy. expectations are higher. goals are higher. more pressure is added. just because people know that i can go far and i will, doesn't mean that getting far is easy. today i got another slap from reality. my heart sank when i heard the bad news. my breathing was getting uneasy and i called up one of my best friends. and when she answered, i just broke down. i couldn't control my emotions and my tears. i haven't felt that way and cried that hard since my last breakup. i haven't been this affected since last year. i almost forgot how it felt.

i have calmed down now. i think i have let it all out. one time, big time. got big hugs from my sister. i know my tears wouldn't change anything. but now i can think clearer. i can see clearly what i need to do to turn things around and make them go my way. for tonight, let me just get a much needed sleep.

the thing that i find funny about all this is what my horoscope said today. it goes like this: "It's not important that it's friday or that it's february or that it's 2008. Think about your future and plan ahead. Anything that happens today will have no significance and will be irrelevant." hmm.. should i take this as coincidence or does this have another meaning? should i just forget what happened today and shrug it off? should i not care about it coz it doesn't matter? thinking about it, it's funny how most answers from the love book and even my horoscopes actually make sense and have meaning. and they actually relate to my personal life. i take that as my guidance from above. because only He knows best. and it's true. *sigh*

so i'll just end this with a quote dedicated to myself for a more optimistic view filled with more hope for a brighter tomorrow. "Trusting God is a strange thing. We have a hard time bringing ourselves to do it, and yet when there's nothing else left, it always works." i trust Him. always have, always will.

rent remixed: in review

ok, so a little warning. this is going to be a long entry. really long. i'm no critic, but i'm a rent-a-holic, which means i love rent. i particularly fell in love with the original version of rent. mostly because of the movie version of it. and when it came to london last year, i knew i just had to watch it. and i did. i have. yesterday. it's really sad that's it's closing on saturday. anyways, if you're gonna ask me how was it, there are two ways i can answer that question. first way is "i'm gonna say, it was good. eventhough there were some parts that, in my opinion, they 'murdered' some songs. but it was not bad at all". then there's the other way. i could critise (or praise) each part of the show and really talk about everything in detail. so if you want to know more, sit back and make sure you're really comfortable and then read on.

RENT
Duke of York's Theatre - Wed 30 Jan 08 - 07:45pm

CAST: (in order of speaking)

Mark - Oliver Thornton
Roger - Luke Evans
Collins - Leon Lopez
Benny - Craig Stein
Joanne - Francesca Jackson
Angel - Jay Webb
Mimi - Ruth Augilera (suppose to be Siobhan Donaghy)
Maureen - Jessie Wallace

Musical Numbers:Act1
Prologue
Tune Up
Rent
One Song Glory
Light My Candle
Today 4 U
You'll See
Life Support
Out Tonight
Another Day
Will I?
Santa Fe
I'll Cover You
We're Okay
Tango Maureen
Christmas Bells
Act2
Over the Moon
La Vie Boheme
Happy New Year
Take Me Or Leave Me
Without You
Contact
I'll Cover You Reprise
What You Own
You Eyes
Finale (No Day But Today)
Seasons of Love

tick-tock-tick-tock. 525600 minutes. what i like about the begininng was that there was this electronic banner counting down seconds. it was so nice. plus i always wanted something like that in my room. haha. what struck me next was their british accents. it was so wierd and kinda cute and sounded quite different.

enter mark cohen. i also pictured him to be have quite a geeky personality with his camera always in hand. so to see a macho-type mark kinda surprised me. it was kinda funny to me. but he had a good voice. quite operatic though.

anyways, i reserved my tickets through london theatre which offers discounted tickets. they told me they would be giving the best seats, (yeah right.) but i have to disagree with them. it was nice but i just couldn't the upper level of their stage. i always had to slouch down or lean right or left to get a glimpse. argh. there was also the lights that blocked my view of that upper part. so that's what you get when they say 'the best seats'.

i have never seen a broadway production of rent (well except for youtube videos of course.) so i didn't have any expectations on how the stage would look like. so the dancers and drama effect on the side was really good. at the same time, they were slowly changing the set. efficient, nice.

enter angel dumott schunard and tom collins. oooh, i was so disappointed for angel. i don't know. i guess angel just wasn't too girly. i want to see angel with high heels and short skirts. then collins, hmm.. he seemed quite gay in some scenes. and then seeing them together, hmm..they look cute together. (but i still love jesse l. martin and wilson jermaine heredia.Ü)

ok, before i continue, i just realized that i talk more about their look than their singing. but you see, their singing was good. so there isn't much to talk about there. try and understand that i feel even the look of the each character contributes to the production. hmm..what do you think? now moving on.

enter roger davis. ooh, i just love the character of roger! even if he had aids. plus i love adam pascal from the original broadway and movie version. now i also love luke evans. not to forget that one song glory is one of my favorites. even though that they remixed the song into more of a ballad, love song. but wasn't bad at all.

today 4u, tomorrow 4 me. this was shocking, really. it started out okay, however again, he was almost half naked throughout the whole dance. but he was a good dancer, nice moves. i just never imagined angel dumott schunard to be half naked dancing and singing and showing off his muscular build. just imagined him more feminine.

enter benjamin coffin iii also known as benny. the former roomie turned landlord yuppie. when he (craig stein) was singing 'you'll see', he had this rnb or soul kind of singing. yes, he seemed like one of those rnb artists, such as ne-yo, mario or chris brown. plus he had the look of someone professional, suit and tie. he just looked so like a yuppie.

life support. this was a really wierd and quite awkward for mark cohen. plus this was the part he seemed gay. oliver thornton doesn't really look like the mark cohen i imagine (which is more like anthony rapp. i love him.Ü). here's a short clip.

enter the feline fantasy, miss mimi marquez - at the catscratch club nightly. this was what was written on the electronic banner. cool. but she started from the upper level and like i said, i couldn't quite seat from my 'best' seat. she was sing out tonight and it was different from the original one, but in a good way. it was a jazzy remix to the original and her performance was chicago-ish. in a good way.

time to dance. tango maureen. the part where 'pookie' became 'pukie'. well mainly because of the accent. but the shocking moment is when mark cohen was just in a sando. and he was so touchy touchy. ok ok, i get it. this is to be the sexiest cast there is. fine.

christmas. it's so cute that the blue christmas trees were falling from the sky like snow. haha. and that's the end of act1. only then does maureen johnson appear. at the very last line. alas act2 begins.

mooooooooo. of course, it begins with over the moon. it is really such a great performance. and again, maureen was looking sexy. it's quite funny she was wearing the same throughout the whole thing. (ok so it reminds of idina menzel. i love her.Ü) and then straight to one of my favorites. la vie boheme! for this song, i so like the first one better. mark began with an operatic tone. but i must agree that oliver thornton can sing. and a dancing remix to the song, hmm..sorry but i'm not feeling it. hee hee.

ok so probably now you're thinking that i compare this with the original broadway production in new york and the movie version with all the original cast members a little too much. and i say how i love everyone there (especially adam pascal and anthony rapp.Ü). putting that all aside, i would say that rent remixed is really good. if i haven't watched the movie version or didn't have a clue what rent sounds like, then i would definitely recommend to you to go watch. (without any bias of course) sadly though, rent remixed in london is closing on february2. and the original broadway version in new york is closing too on june 1. oh i'm so sad to see them both close. i love rent. and i guess i always will. no day but today.

** SORRY, THIS IS JUST MOST PART OF THIS ENTRY. IT IS SUPER CLOSE TO COMPLETE. I'LL UPDATE THIS TOMORROW. COME BACK LATER. SEE YA. **

the dream of someone else

yes, i have always dreamed of that someone meant for me. so yes, i also believe in destiny, soulmates, mr. right and all that stuff. eversince i can remember, i have always been a hopeless romantic. i believed that things were meant to be and of course, if some thing's weren't meant to be, they just wouldn't be no matter what you do. that second part, i had to learn the hard way. giving up or letting go of things that you want but wasn't meant for you is so heart-breaking.

i remember a friend telling me "while waiting for the right one, enjoy with the wrong one first." i was thinking, "ah yes, the right, soon." then i smiled.

we all dream of having someone to be with and spend our time with. we all dream of growing old with someone. that someone who could complete us and be our everything. okay, i guess that's enough of mushy talk, i'm sure you get what i mean. we talk about the right time, that right moment where everything will just fall into its place. you never know when exactly that moment is so you cannot prepare for you. but you'd be surprised to know that everything is falling into its right place and eventually you'll find out. soon.

tragedy..

quotes from one tree hill. i love this show.

Brooke: "George Bernard Shaw once wrote; 'There are two tragedies in life: one is to lose your heart's desire, the other is to gain it.' Clearly, Shaw had his heart broken once or twice."

Nathan: "As far as I’m concerned, Shaw was a punk! 'Cause you know what? Tragedies happen. What're you gonna do, give up? Quit? No. I realize now that when your heart breaks, you gotta fight like hell to make sure you’re still alive. 'Cause you are, and that pain you feel: it's life. The confusion and fear.. that's there to remind you that somewhere out there is something better. And that something is worth fighting for."

Haley: "This year, I got everything I wanted and everything I wished for.. but, in a way, I lost even more."

Lucas: "Shaw was right: as we strain to grasp the things we desire, the things we think will make our lives better: money, popularity, fame... we ignore what truly matters -- the simple things: like friendship, family, love. The things we probably already had."

Mouth: "So, Mr. Shaw thinks that getting your hearts desire is a tragedy? I say he’s wrong. I mean, clearly, Shaw never kissed Erica Marsh."

Peyton: "Yeah, losing your heart’s desire is tragic. But gaining your heart’s desire... It’s all you can hope for. This year, I wished for love. To immerse myself in someone else and to wake a heart long afraid to feel. My wish was granted. And if having that is tragic… then give me tragedy. Because, I wouldn’t give it back for the world."

one eyebrow raised

today was a funny day. i found out how eyebrows can make a difference. yes, apparently any change you do with it can make you prettier. here's the deal. i have thick eyebrows. and just yesterday, i had it trimmed. it was nothing planned though. my mom went to the hairdressers for her haircut and then all of a sudden, i was on the hot seat, getting my brows trimmed. at home, they were all saying how i look different, how i no longer look like the old me. but of course, i thought, 'yeah, they're family, so they're suppose to say that, you know?' but then today, when i went to college, it was really funny. my friends were like 'something's different with you today'. there will be a short pause and them a loud 'aaah!!'. yup, some shock on their face. and they go, 'your eyebrows!'. and they start saying 'you look prettier', 'you look different with your new eyebrows', blah blah blah... one even said, 'you look sexier..' but that person's just crazy and something's badly wrong with his eyes. they just kept looking at me and my eyebrows and it got kinda annoying. by the end of the day, i was still amazed at the idea that by just a small change in my eyebrows and my friends are somehow giving a second look, a longer look. hahaha. so now, i'll just smile...

have you heard? part2

* Legally Blonde is now on broadway.

it was quite random how i first came to know about this. i was looking at rent the musical videos and just saw the video entitled "legally blonde on broadway". in the video, they were singing "omigod, omigod you guys..la la la...". it was somewhat catchy and i like it. okay, so i wanna watch musical as well. another musical to add to my list.

* Rent Remixed is closing in London on February 2, 2008!

wait for it, wait for it. another "WWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHYYYYYYY?!?!?!?!?!" and "NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!". i wanna cry. this cannot be happening. just last week, i found out Rent was closing in new york, and now here as well. it's just about two weeks, well not even, exactly nine days from today. ok so i guess i have to reserve my tickets now. who's coming with me? weee...

* American Idol Season 7 is now on.

this is something i look forward to every year. i became a fan since season 3, when jasmine trias came on to the show and became a hit. a fun part of this show is the beginning - the auditions. recently, i saw this guy and he was funny. he loves simon so much. reynaldo lapuz. do you watch the show? have you seen this audition? some people would look at this badly, they may think of him as a shame. but all i can say "gogogo! show them what you're made of."



We're Brothers Forever

I am your brother, your best friend forever,
Singing the songs, the music that you like.
We're brothers till the end of time.
Together or not, you're always in my heart
Your hurting feelings in you will reign no more.
(Repeat non-stop)


* Heath Ledger, dead at the age of 28.

i was shocked. was this real? but sadly, it was. and i liked him as an actor. i remember watching him in the movie 'ten things i hate about you'. he was good. of course, his role in brokeback mountain would be remembered. he is certainly a loss to hollywood.

* I (might) visit the Phils. this year.

i really hope this time i do. there was the possibility of may and there's also july. the problem with may is that i would only be in the philippines for a week. what can i do in a week? that's too short! the only good thing is i would get to bond with my cousins from new zealand. and then july, one of my best friends here is celebrating her 18th birthday and of course, it's the season for barrio fiestas. but if i go home in july, i'd be there for a month. hay... what to choose? what to day? why does it have to be so difficult?

family duty

List of responsibilities during a party/dinner at our house:

* Clean my room and bathroom. (including pc table)

* Put crystal glasses unto tray. (champagne, scoth, wine - both big and small, normal drinking glass - big and small..)

* Fold about a hundred napkins.

* Fold spoon and fork into a napkin. (did about ten or so..)

* Cut cheese into slices. (seperate whole slices from bits and pieces)

* Pick up guests at ground floor via the staircase. (my exercise. so here's the deal. we live on the third floor. we usually use the lift. but unfortunately for us, it had to be broken at this time. and you need the key as well to access the staircase. *pants* so in short, i had to go down to the ground floor. open the door for the guests and walk all the way up to the third floor again. *pants*)

* Welcome the guests at the door. (say "welcome, tuloy po kayo, ayan po, may guestbook tayo, chuchu..")

* Get the coats. (put them on hangers. and hang them on the coat rack. which is located in my room.)

* Serve them drinks. (wine, scotch, juice, coke, water, tea ?)

* Give them plates with spoon and fork.

* Clean up a little. (after they have eaten)

* Picture-picture. (camera person. haha)

* In between all that, take care after my baby sister.

* Do a little serving of dessert and more drinks.

* Wait around until they finish. (after all their drinking, talking, eating, talking, more drinking..)

* Give them back their coats and say farewell.

* Cleaning up all the mess.

after all that, finally, i can rest. then i would be able to stay in bed until late the next day. unless of course, it's a weekday and i have college that next morning. hope i don't wake up on the wrong side of the bed. if you know what i mean.

before midnight

ok ok, so i have to get this entry done before midnight. i have a class early the next morning. and i already lack too much sleep. because of exams and other random stuff. so i guess i better start.

exams. i hate exams. don't you? i mean, who doesn't? give me atleast one student who enjoys exams. and i'll take that last question back. imagine, the sleepless nights, the constant reading and revision, the questions and the doubts, all that stress. for an hour-long paper that is usually crap. hehe. so i'm guessing you would already know how i feel about my exams. except for my maths exam, i hate all my exams! coming out from the exam room, i just feel bad. like "oh snap, oh crap."

facebook. yes, the new friendster for me. haha. mainly because most of my friends here in london have facebook. so i guess it's safe to say that facebook (or myspace) in london is like friendster (or multiply) in the philippines. gets? so buy me a drink or send me a hug now. haha.

birthdays. people have this thing about birthdays that when someone forgets, we say we are sad or sulk or moan about to that someone who forgot. that someone who must have remembered it was your birthday. ok, i must admit i am one of those people who feel sad when people - close friends, forget it's my birthday and forget to greet. but i don't really sulk around or keep moaning about it. it's just kinda disppointing you know. hmm..reminds of someone. haha. and here's to another someone celebrating their birthday soon, happy birthday! hope you know who you are.

sleep. as you already now, i lack sleep, i need sleep, i want sleep. gawd, my eyebugs. okay, time to get some shut-eye. enough said.

have you heard?

* Multiply and ABS-CBN are now partners.

i just wonder what we get out of it..

http://multiply.multiply.com/journal/item/195/Multiply_ABS-CBN_A_match_made_in_Quezon_City
official press release: http://multiply.com/info/press/abscbn

* Pirates of the Carribean 4

one of my favorite trilogies to date. i remember watching the first pirates movie on the first day of its first showing in the cinemas back home. i was with all my classmates and that was one memorable day. but that's not what i'm supposed to be talking about, i think it's still not confirmed yet but there will a pirates 4 & 5. and that johnny depp may be the only one returning for the series. the story of elizabeth swann and william turner has finished so they're making the whole movie to focus on captain jack sparrow as well as the fountain of youth. for me, captain jack sparrow is one of the best characters johnny depp has ever played. and it would be nice to see him back in character.

* Rent is closing in New York on June 1, 2008.

as of thursday, it has been nine hundred thirty thousand, one hundred eighty minutes since rent opened in new york. i read this on a friend's blog and i was just like "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" and "WWWWHHHYYYYY?!?!". i felt really bad. i already had plans of going to new york to visit family and longtime friends. and of course, on my agenda was to watch rent live on broadway stage. and now, i just wouldn't seem to get the chance. i confess now that i'm a rent-a-holic. and i know that there is a rent show here in london. i know where it is and all the details but it is remixed unlike the original broadway or the movie version. plus i still don't have the time to see it (or the company either). for now, i just so want to go to new york, buy a ticket for rent and watch it. pleasssssssssse.

* There's still no snow in London.

yes, you heard me right, no snow - london - still. i wanted a white christmas but nooo, it didn't happen. i've been waiting outside for snow eversince the newspapers said that it would be snowing here in london. hope snow comes soon coz my neck hurts.

* The Philippine Embassy in London has now moved. (to serve you better. Haha.)

officially, it will be inaugurated tomorrow but has been open to the public since january 3 this year. but believe it or not, the inside is still not finished. should i say carpeting is still not complete and the basement is not done so other officers still don't have their office. hmm.. must i go on? but anyways, this part is just f.y.i. (for your information), most especially for those living in the united kingdom.

website: http://www.philemb.org.uk/

i took the first step but i stumbled and fell. should i still stand up?

that's the question i ask myself now. after all that hard work (plus it wasn't at all free.), this is what i get. ok, so i shouldn't be complaining. i wasn't really expecting anything so that when i get to this outcome, i wouldn't feel too much hurt or disappointment. but i forget the most painful part of all this - telling everyone else.

everyone just had so high hopes and expectations. sorry. you see, this is somewhat the scenario i get. after i tell the truth, they are just shocked. then they ask me, 'are you sure?' which of course i am. then they shake their head and start questioning everything that happened until that point. some try to comfort me while others are just frustrated at the outcome that they think of ways or so-called 'strategies' to fix things. me, well, i just shrug it off. sometimes this just feels like they are simply adding insult to injury. just ouch..

to all those who know me know that it doesn't really bother me now. but to those who know better, uhm well..they would question everything. they would tell me to fight for it. and be like 'why give it all up when you've done so much?' and say i deserve it and all that. the only thing i guess they don't get is that i already know i deserve it and i'm worth all that. but can something really done for things that you know weren't meant to be?

a political mind with an appetite for alcohol

i am my father's daughter, that's for sure. it seems i do have a few things in common with my dad. when i was younger, they would always say i look like my dad. they say i am the girl version of my dad. haha.

someone once asked me what i wanted to become and do in the future? did i want to become lik my dad and lead a diplomatic life with all this connections? or did want to go into something completely different than that of my dad? or would i use the connections of my dad with people into pursuing a career of my own? hmmm...

the first time i heard my mom say "anak, lasinggera ka talaga." and i remembering laughing out loud. hahaha. i don't really drink often. only when there's an occasion, so yes, in other words, i drink socially. i have not gotten drunk to the point that i would throw up and end up hugging the toilet bowl. one time, they asked me my opinion a beer and i said i didn't quite like it because it tasted a little blunt like it was just water, filled with alcohol. and they all laughed and my dad joked, "she's really her father's daughter." there was laughter again. i don't know if it was the effect of alcohol that have gone to their heads but that sure was true. i guess..

lamentation: you're in my thoughts

it's funny when i think about how he came to be in my life. the claim was that he was a 'friend' of a friend. that seemed suspicious but i went along with it. with each day that passed, i got to know a little bit more about him while he bombared me with questions about my past as if he really seemed to know me and wanted answers. i had my doubts on who he really was but i didn't care, it didn't matter. he was someone i could talk to about my problems and random stuff about life. he kept me company eventhough i felt he kept his distance. he became my way of letting go. he became the medium in which i could say whatever i wanted to say and tell my story about my past without holding back. in simple words, he became the person i told all that was in my heart even if it was meant for someone else and that through him, i know my words actually got through to that someone else. in the end, i knew who he really was but pretended not to see it or believe it. now, he seems to just be a distant memory, someone that belongs to a beautiful dream.

so to you, migs, wherever you may be, i want you to know that you are in my thoughts and i guess i'll always be thinking about you every now and then. well i guess this is probably the first and last time i'm gonna say this: i miss you. it would be really nice to talk to you again.
hopefully someday migs, someday.

there's a hidden meaning.

What Anna Katrina Catapang Means

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality. (notes for those who do not know what a classic "type A" personality is: Competitive, driven, stressed, workaholic) You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people. You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts. You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals. (?) You are a seeker of knowledge, and you have learned many things in your life. You are also a keeper of knowledge - meaning you don't spill secrets or spread gossip. People sometimes think you're snobby or aloof, but you're just too deep in thought to pay attention to them. You are a seeker. You often find yourself restless - and you have a lot of questions about life. You tend to travel often, to fairly random locations. You're most comfortable when you're far away from home. You are quite passionate and easily tempted. Your impulses sometimes get you into trouble. You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something. (?) You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense. You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun. You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing. You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long. (?) You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start. (not true.) You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily. You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind. A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable. You are influential and persuasive. You tend to have a lot of power over people. Generally, you use your powers for good. You excel at solving other people's problems. Occasionally, you do get a little selfish and persuade people to do things that are only in your interest. (?) You are deeply philosophical and thoughtful. You tend to analyze every aspect of your life. You are intuitive, brilliant, and quite introverted. You value your time alone. Often times, you are grumpy with other people. You don't appreciate them trying to interfere in your affairs. (?)

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

i love friends.

season 10 - episode 16: The One With Rachel's Going Away Party

this is just one of my favorite episodes from one of my all-time favorite tv shows, friends. this is the episode where rachel says goodbye to each of her friends individually, except for ross. he then gets mad and the two of them end up kissing after she explains that she was putting it off because of how hard saying goodbye to him would be. i remember watching this episode one day, back when i was in the philippines, and was days from leaving. and i couldn't help but cry. i felt what rachel felt. there was just so many people - so many friends that i was gonna miss. of course, the part where rachel tells ross why she found it hard to say goodbye to him was one of my favorite scenes. (can relate? hehe. hmm..)

Rachel: "You really think i didn't say goodbye to you because i don't care."

Ross: "Thats what it seemed like."

Rachel: "I cannot believe that after 10 years, you do not know one thing about me."

Ross: "Fine, then why didn't you say something?"

Rachel: "Because it is too damn hard, ross. I can't even begin to explain to you how much i'm gonna miss you. When i think about not seeing you everyday it makes me not want to go, okay? So if you think that I didn't say goodbye to you because you don't mean as much to me as everybody else, you're wrong. It's because you mean more to me. So there, alrite? There's your goodbye."

this episode is one that reminds of the good times and that i do want to go home and visit. and yes, i swear that i have to go home and visit this year. yes friends, 2008 is the year.

it's a small world after all

yes, just like the song, i know. sounds very cliche-ic but still very true. today i found out something that at first, made my heart very heavy. but then, after a while, i was just laughing and smiling. actually it wasn't really something funny. it was more of how your connections with people and relationships with them can link you closer to others than you realize. i know you may not understand a thing of what i'm saying but it's like the concept of six degrees of separation. it's the idea that, if a person is one step away from each person he or she knows and two steps away from each person who is known by one of the people he or she knows, then everyone is no more than six "steps" away from each person on Earth. who knows that maybe tomorrow you find out how you are related to brad pitt or kevin bacon.

2oo7.

ok, so it's year 2008. imagine, soon it's gonna be two years since we moved to london. time just seems to passing me by. so i thought, like most bloggers, to write about the year that was. it's now my turn to stop for a while to look back, reminisce and remember the good things (even the bad and ugly). take note: this is gonna be quite a long entry.

i remember beginning 2007 with sadness in my heart because that was my first christmas and new year abroad and was just homesick. it wasn't bad but it was different. that's how i'm gonna put it, different. in a way, i still haven't adjusted to life here in london, to life being so far away from friends and family.

and now, i've changed. i think i changed most on my being too emotional and showing it. last year, everytime i felt homesick, i always had tears in my eyes. now, everytime i feel homesick, i do still feel sad but no more tears. my lovelife also used to bring me tears but now, it doesn't and i'm happy. and i'll talk about that later. my emotions used to always show on me. i couldn't hide the hurt from showing up in what i do or stop the tears from falling during any tv show. but now, i somehow can control it. i try to find it within me not to look at the negative side of what is happening and be optimistic about it. in a way, yes i have matured. this time, no more wasted tears.

i've also accepted my fate. there's no use to be still moping about the fact that i'm so far away from other friends and family. it's better this way. so what i do now is encourage them to come here. especially after they graduate. haha.

talking about friends, well we've been through so much this year and this brought us closer as friends thus creating the D.A.! i love them all so much. and thank them for making my stay here in london a little more bearable. hehe.

ok now, to one of the most asked questions. lovelife. as most of my close friends already know, i started the year in a relationship, a long distance one at that. around the mid-year, that changed. it didn't exactly break my heart but of course, i was still hurt. however i've finally learnt to let go and now, well, my lovelife's just there. a part of my life that i decided to put on a rest because of all that i have been through. i needed a rest from the drama and pain it could cause. but now, i'm ready. my heart is no longer broken into a million pieces. it has healed itself with time for itself and people who would not hurt it. but of course, my lovelife isn't too empty. there are those who make me smile and laugh. those who are reasons for me to go to school and those who inspire me to take chances. those who pop into my mind and i smile for no reason. at certain times, i feel myself falling. but at the same time, i stop myself. there's no rush. there's still time. and i'm happy.

Other Reasons to remember 2007:

• PNB Work Experience
• my 19th Birthday Celebration
• the whole month of November
• Barrio Fiestas '07
• Royal Ascot '07
• PGMA Visit
• Trip to Ireland
• Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows
• Summer Movies (Transformers, Pirates3, HP5, Ratatouille, Simpsons)
• New Friendships (College & Filo Community)

i'll continue this tomorrow. come back later. =)

xoxo, Gossip Girl

happy new year!

happy 2oo8 everyone.

this is officially my first entry for the year. i was suppose to write a year-ender entry. but i'll just do that some other day. maybe when i feel like it or have more time. as for now, i just want to sleep this off.

goodnight 2oo7.

'07, now signing off.


ps. happy birthday kei! :]

Get to know yourself better

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education:

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.


** this is so me! agree? hehe. although a very little part of it is questionable. hehe. =)

on birthdays, christmases and blogs.

birthday: anniversary of the day of one's birth

ok, so this blog is a little too overdue. but i'll still write this out. first and foremost, i want to say a big thank you to everyone who has made my birthday special by remembering it. namely, of course, my college friends (who all know who you are. thanks for the chucks.Ü). my highschool friends and barkadas. my online buddies. my london friends. anyone. thanks for the text, im, message, comment. thanks for also trying to call besh (besh love u more for that.Ü). thanks DA for the whole day, for the food and gift. and to have all of you spend it with me. thanks to jason as well, for coming (eventhough you weren't there on my bday mismo, but thanks for the libre. haha). thanks richard and mark for making the effort to come. i know you must have been bored but you stayed anyway. of course, i also made tampo when some didn't greet me. boo! haha. ok ok, i know you didn't mean to forget. so you know you have to make up for it. okies?

christmas: annual festival in dec25 commemorating the birth of Christ

ok, now this one. it's not the best christmas ever, but it's definitely not the worst. however it's been a while since i had a good christmas. a christmas where i wasn't sad or crying. (yep, that's how my past 3 christmases have been. no asking why. haha.) well, i was really optimistic about this christmas, however, as fate would have it, my dad, mom and sister were sick. so yeah, i was just stuck at home, in front of this computer. thanks to romeo (uuy, special mention name nia. haha.) for keeping me company. and to drea. (grabe, i missed talking to you.) thank you for staying up a little longer to keep me company. i grew with the whole concept of christmas with its santa, simbang gabi, exchange gifts, noche buena and everything. i don't up to become all grown up and lose belief in old tradition.

blog: short for weblog which is a person's online journal

this is the first blog entry i have written since uhm, last november. yes, a month has passed by since i last wrote something, anything. not even a blog surrvey. why you ask? hmm.. well, not sure what the exact reason is. but i'll just say that life has been good. and expect more entries to come. blogger anakat, logging in.

20 lines. 20 people.

which one is for whom? you think you're one of the people i'm talking to? go figure.

1. you know i'll be waiting for you to come here after two years. or maybe next year. hehe

2. BIG hug!

3. some things are better left unsaid.

4. i SUPER miss you but are you still holding a grudge?

5. i love london more because of you.

6. i wanna hear you sing live.

7. when's the next event?

8. i never thought i would find friends like you here.

9. we are both one-of-a-kind, i love us!

10. i8u!

11. stay strong, stay in love, stay happy.

12. i will talk to you, SOON.

13. i'll see you in New York.

14. i miss hearing you sing with your guitar.

15. thanks for always having time for me.

16. hey you, i am not a snob, boo.

17. we're still friends despite misunderstandings, remember that.

18. get over him, not worth it.

19. we don't talk often, that's why i miss you so badly.

20. i don't say this often as i should, so here it is: many thanks for everything and i love you.

missing anonymous.

1 Missed Call

Anonymous
11:35 27-OCT-07


who are you anonymous? and why did you call? i'm hoping that was a call from someone in the phils. but then, i feel bad i didn't get to answer it. it's not like everyday i get a call from someone back home. as of now, there has been only two people who have called me. of course, only one provider of callcards. haha. looking back, it seems i still feel that i want to receive something from my friends back home. up to now, i'm looking forward to that day i receive a gift or a card from the phils. even just one card would make my birthday so complete. (yes, i AM making parinig and paawa. hahaha. ehem ehem..)

yep, my birthday is coming up. and i can't wait. so far, i've got a few plans that i really really hope everything will push through, most of which are firsts for me. i intend to make my birthday this year the best i've ever had. and i think i'm gonna need all the help i can get.


special mention to my closest friends who are fellow scorpions celebrating their birthdays as well, namely drea, glo ann and cass. i miss you girls so much! happy birthday to us! muwah!

my keys are in a safe place.

The Keys to Your Heart





You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.

You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was insecure and in constant need of reassurance.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

comments: hmm.. it's so true. loves it.

Past Life Analysis

Your past life diagnosis:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I don't know how you feel about it, but you were female in your last earthly incarnation.You were born somewhere in the territory of modern West Australia around the year 900. Your profession was that of a monk (nun), bee-keeper or lone gunman.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Your brief psychological profile in your past life:
Inquisitive, inventive, you liked to get to the very bottom of things and to rummage in books. Talent for drama, natural born actor.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The lesson that your last past life brought to your present incarnation:
There is an invisible connection between the material and the spiritual world. Your lesson is to search, find and use this magical bridge.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Do you remember now?

thoughts for the week.

my thoughts..

.. on friendship.

this week has been filled with drama of relationships between people. we all have different ways on how we treat our friends. we don't really need lots of friends to feel loved. sometimes it only takes one true friend to help us through our bad times. it was so hard for me to look pinas because of all the friends i would be leaving behind. i didn't want to start all over again (although there was a part of my life i wanted to. dibah?) from being by myself and finding people i can trust my whole life with. and much to my surprise, i found myself a good bunch of people who i simply love being with. we are all different and i love it. but of course, they cannot replace those who have been with me through all the years of my high school life. i miss them dearly.

.. on diplomacy, politics, international relations and foreign service.

this is pretty much what my life is about right now. this is a big part of my life. i get a lot of chances to experience it all firsthand. dining with all those famous names in politics is sort of pressure. looking your best, being on my best behaviour. sosyalan to da max. hahahaha. i actually enjoy all the activities i do here. working, volunteering, dining out, lots of memorable moments. it also popped in my mind to take up something to do with foreign service. what if, just what if, i followed my dad's footsteps? i would enjoy traveling and living elsewhere. but i would hate to always have a new life and leave my old life behind. in the long run, i might have to give up the career or choose family. or maybe that wouldn't rely on me.

.. on change.

it is inevitable. we cannot stop it or do anything at all about it. we just got to accept it and adapt to it. change can be better or for worse. change can really be painful at times. time is just passing by so quickly. and we just have to keep up with it. or we'd end up getting lost and eventually left far behind.

.. on independence.

at my age, it's hard to believe my parents are still over protective. time and time again, my parents are strict when it comes to me going out with friends. sometimes it's frustrating to not be able to go places with my friends. i think i would need a chaperone or bodyguard or driver or something just to go. however, it still has its good side to it. pros and cons. hmm.. let me weight them first.

.. on my past.

one of the hardest thing to do is live the life you have built all behind. all my friends and memories. you find it so hard to detach from it. you don't want to go through the trouble of starting your life all over again. it's not that easy. but you just got to deal with it. no running away from it. you slowly learn to let go of things you can't control but keep all the memories and people that truly matter.

.. on my future.

the main thing that stresses me now is university applications. getting it done is important. mainly because the deadline is coming up. it's so hard to chase teachers to get their part done. to actually send the application before the post office go on strike again. nice timing people. writing the personal statement was the hardest thing to do in the application process. because you actually stop to access yourself, to think about what you want to do after graduating, or about what interests you now and your hobbies. it's actually hard to talk about yourself in the way that would interest people in accepting you for their university. it's almost like thinking of a way how to sell yourself to the uni. friends say that the course i chose isn't surprising. they pretty much knew i'd take that. other people just think i'm really nerdy, geeky or plain crazy to take it up. but then, i realized that the opportunities after graduating is gonna be huge, especially if i go into the best university there is. fingers crossed on that. but the thing is am i ready for the future? will i be able to handle? well, there's only one way to answer that. and i'm sure i'll be just fine.

Her Diary Notes:

she just couldn't sleep. something seemed to be bothering her. something she just couldn't put her finger on. so she sat by her study table and then she saw this little black book sticking out of her book shelf. it seemed familiar to her. so she pulled it out and opened it. she read a few lines and remembered what that book was. it was her personal diary. she read on.

" september 26, 2007: 12.53am

my mind is just flying away with thoughts and dreams. and now i can't stop writing. everything is just pouring out in words. and it all comes down to this. i miss you. i miss hearing you laugh when you try make a joke even if it's not funny. i miss watching you play and being able to cheer for you. i miss holding your hand to know i'm not alone. i miss you kissing my forehead to make me feel everything is alright. i miss feeling your tight embraces that make me feel so comforted and the feeling that you ain't gonna let me go. i miss you being the first thing that i think of when i wake in the morning and last thought before going to sleep at it. i miss being able to call you mina. but the TRUTH be TOLD is that i don't really miss you at all. not one bit. not anymore. why? because now, someone else can be the one i will miss. someone else would be fill in the space you left behind. that someone would be him. and he will wait. for the right time, the right place, the moment. where everything will make sense and nothing else would matter at all."

when she finished, a teardrop fell unto the diary and a few words were smudged. reading this brought tears to her eyes. and then she smiled. she remembered her reason for everyday. it was him. he did come. and for the first time, she never felt happier. and ever more certain.

blogstuff mode1

You are 67% Scorpio

How Scorpio Are You?

Guys Like That You're Sensitive



And not in that "cry at a drop of a hat" sort of way
You just get most guys - even if you're not trying to
Guys find it is easy to confide in you and tell you their secrets
No wonder you tend to get close quickly in relationships!

What Do Guys Like About You?

You Should Be A Cancer



What's good about you: you're incredibly kind, caring, and generous

What's bad about you: you can be too moody and impossible to understand

In love: you enjoy wining and dining the object of your affection

In friendship, you're: likely to depend on other friends for emotional support

Your ideal job: historian, marine biologist, or religious figure

Your sense of fashion: you dress to match your mood

You like to pig out on: classic home cooked meals, like mac and cheese

What Sign Should You Be?

Desiderata

by Max Ehrmann

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly, and listen to others,
even to the dull and ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be
greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career
however humble;
it is a real possession in the
changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind youto what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit
to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore, be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham,drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.