Saturday, 30 June 2007

another way saying so..

a note:
you want the truth and here it is. i don't know whether fate is trying to tell me something or God is simply testing my strength. i don't understand but somehow i always seem to be in your shadow. i'd be lying if i said i didn't want to be here because there's a part of me that wants to stay. however, whenever i'm with you, i know i can never be truly and completely happy. it's like i'm in some make-believe world that only exists for you and me. then when we're apart, we lead our different separate lives and then i am left all alone to face reality. it just doesn't seem right to waste my time and all my energy on something that's actually pretense and in reality would never ever mean anything to anyone. when we're together, it's like we're stuck at a particular moment in time, no movement forward towards the future or growth as individuals. and that scares me too much. i'm scared to let go. scared to wake up and face reality. scared to show too much emotions that would only make things worse for me in the long run. scared to know that in reality i would mean nothing to you and you would actually show it. it hurts too much. i'm tired. i'm tired of pretending, lying, waiting, hurting and wasting everything on you. i deserve to be truly and completely happy. and now, i know i can't find it with you. so if ever you do decide to go back to our artificial world, i'm telling you now that you won't find me there. so don't even try to waste your time waiting for someone to come. because the harsh truth of reality is that we were never meant to be in the first place. so this is goodbye.

Friday, 15 June 2007

what time is it?

no, this is not the lyrics to the song that's from the high school musical 2. neither is this entry gonna be about the movie. so what time is it people? it's time to celebrate. it's time to reminisce, to look back and think about what has happened. this may be a long and serious entry. but i do hope you take the time to read this through.

so it has been one year since i have been here. yes, it has been one year already. one year, twelve months, three hundred sixty five days. time really has just seemed to past by. and without realizing it, we're all grown up. so grown up. change is inevitable. and it's happening everyday. there are people who come and go in my life the past year. there are those who decided to stay and there are those who had to say goodbye. there are those who have been there eversince. there are those who grow apart. and there are those who just get closer. i guess this happens in everybody's life. there will always be changes. i guess it's our choice on how we handle and adjust to that changes.

it's really hard to live a diplomatic life. most people usually build most of their lives in one place. everything they know is there. but if you lead a diplomatic life, it's hard. your memories are everywhere and friends you make are hard. hard in the sense that it's always someone new. you always meet new friends. it's fun and really great however would you rather have many new acquaintances or one or two best friends? plus everyone's everywhere. almost every friend you meet has to leave and lead life at some other place. you become really good friends and yet you still have to part. it's really hard and one can never get used to that. another thing, people think it's easy living abroad beacuse you can get whatever you want. what they don't realize is that you are far from friends and family. the simple things in life that you want are complicated. and your old life is always almost forgetten. normally, you have to let go of your old life (which, trust me, is really really hard.) they say that it is all for the best and you get to have a better life. so here's a compromise. i lead a new life, with new adventures and fun. but i still keep the people who matter the most to me.

i may not love it here as much i love it back home. but i'm enjoying myself and having loads of fun. i'm beginning to like it here and slowly build a new life. i hope all of you can share and be a part of it. plus somehow, despite everything, i'm happy here.

just some little funny random things about life here:

  • College and University are two different things. Yes, college comes first before university. College is two years while university is a minimum of three years. Aside from that, school is also different from those two. When you say school, it only means you are either in primary school or high school only. If you're in college, say college. Same thing for university. Never say you're in school when you're really in college. [Gets nyo?]

  • You can see a 24-hour store that closes at 10pm.
  • The weather is so unpredictable here. One time, it was sunny. Then, came hail. Then, it was sunny again. It then rained. After that, it was sunny again. Then, it snowed. And it became sunny again. Funny thing is this all happened in one day. Yes, London weather, so unpredictable, rubbish! Hahaha.
  • There is a different price for eating in and take out for some restaurants and cafes. Yep, it's cheaper to take out.

  • There is also different prices to watch a movie in a cinema. Yeah, it all depends what day you are watching a movie, as well as what time of day you're watching. (it's alot cheaper in the morning on a weekday.)

  • Every shop is closed on Christmas Day. There isn't even any public transportation. The city becomes a ghost town. Sad. Same thing happens on New Year's Day.

  • Stores close early on Sundays.
  • Sudoku is addictive. It keeps you busy when you are bored. Whether on the train or bus or just walking, you can see someone doing it. If you solved one, be proud.
  • The park is like the beach. Women can go sun-bathing in their bikini and guys go topless.
  • Marks & Spencer here is like SM back home. (Rexona=Sure, Whisper=Always)
  • Bus routes are all timed and according to schedule.

  • If you say you want chips, it means you want fries. Chips such as pringles are called crisps. Please don't confuse yourself.

  • If you hear the siren of a police car or an embulance, watch as all cars and buses give way to them even when there's traffic.
  • In summer, the sun sets at 10pm. In winter, the sun rises at around 6am and sets at around 3pm.
  • Time difference between Philippines and London is 7 hours. 7 hours in the summer while 8 hours in winter. You guys are ahead. Please remember that. Haha!

before i finish, here are my special thanks:

to those who tried to keep in touch but however couldn't for whatever reason. i understand we're all busy and it may be costly. and i don't really mind. although there are still times i can't help but feel sad and lonely and so left out. i just know that the friendship will always be there. hope you guys feel the same. and hope to catch up with you soon.

to those who have come and gone in this past year. thanks for the time we have spent together eventhough it was only for a short while. it was special and different. during a short while, i have learned and realized different things. in some ways, it has helped me to grow as a person. probably there's something to be learned and that's why you passed by in my life. i hope we see each other again in the future. plus i hope you still remember me when that time comes.

to those who are new in my life and yet has been such a blessing. to those who i haven't met but have been such good friends. thanks for the friendship and the love. you showed me a different kind of friendship. and i can't thank you enough for accepting me for who i am and being such wonderful people. you have put up with all my stories and the tears (and the drama). thanks for all the fun, crazy, different, cherished moments. let's have lots more. and during the short time we have spent together, you have been such good and real friends. may our friendship last wherever we are.

to those who kept in touch throughout the year. to those who have gone through the trouble of reaching out to me. to those who have proved to be real friends to me and showed me the value of true friendship. you all know who you are already. thanks for all the text messages, emails, comments and instant messaging. (sana may cards, calls or gifts na sa susunod. hahaha! joke.) somehow it lessens my feeling of homesickness. especially when you share all your stories and trust your problems with me. or when you devote some of your time in your busy lives just for me. thanks also for understanding my choices (with you-know-what.) and sticking with me. it has come and gone but we are still here. plus sorry if some times, i drop some drama on you guys. it still is hard sometimes. we may be oceans apart but it wouldn't stop us from being each other's witnesses. may you never get tired of keeping in touch. and may our true friendship have no end. amen!

to those reading this. thanks for your time. take care.

to everyone who cares. i miss you all so much. i love you guys! muwah!

note to self: happy aniv to me! one year down, five years to go. in no time, i'll be back home. yey me! plus there's no reason stopping me from going back. well atleast, not yet.

Tuesday, 12 June 2007

out of sheer boredom.

saw this online. they said it was some cool math trick. you be the judge.

Sunday, 10 June 2007

Are you a genius?

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Your Result: Smartie

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