do you wish for more time?

what if you had more time, what would you do? what if you had an extra day, where you be and who are you with?

time flies by real fast. sooner or later, it would already be 2009. we usually need or ask for more time in our busy lives. sometimes though, others would even want time to stand still or actually stop for a moment because they just want to live in that moment forever. believe me, there are those times you wished time just stood still so certain things lasted longer or even forever.

obviously i'm writing this because it's february 29, the extra day in a leap year, which happens every 4 years. today is an extra day to either do something different (or nothing special really. all depends on you) and today was a good day for me. my friend sonia wanted to eat at pizza hut so we made an excuse to eat lunch out. and that was to celebrate february 29, just because it is and that we might not be able spend the next leap year day together. other than that, everything went well. and there was definitely lots of laughs and pictures and more food. a good day, definitely.

so back to my question. having this extra day of the year, what would i do? i could hang out with a friend i haven't seen or talked to in a while, chill and talk in starbucks or walk around london. i could have a spa day - a day where i go to the spa and relax my nerves from the busy schedule. i could just sleep, sleep the whole day because i lack/want/need sleep. i also could go about it like i do on any given day. anything is possible really. but one thing i'd most prefer is to be with friends or family and sharing a good laugh or a nice moment. i simply want more laughs.

i want everyday to be like this day, ending with a smile on my face.

Speech of a Lifetime: What would you say?

Randy Pausch Lecture: Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams

Carnegie Mellon Professor Randy Pausch, who is dying from pancreatic cancer, gave his last lecture at the university Sept. 18, 2007, before a packed McConomy Auditorium. In his moving talk, "Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams," Pausch talked about his lessons learned and gave advice to students on how to achieve their own career and personal goals. For more, visit www.cmu.edu/randyslecture.

"Journeys" are special University Lectures in which Carnegie Mellon faculty members share their reflections on their journeys -- the everyday actions, decisions, challenges and joys that make a life.

Lecture of a Lifetime

ok, so as you realize, this lecture was from last year and i only stumbled accross this yesterday. it was posted in one of the groups i was in in multiply. and i was touched by what i saw and heard. he was a good speaker and got me hooked. he actually got me thinking what my childhood dreams were. and for sure, i did loads of them. from becoming a teacher to a lawyer to a diplomat to a vj, and well you can say, the list goes on.

i now i'm still quite young to think about the lecture of my lifetime or whatever words of wisdom to be the topic of my last speech. i 'm not sure of what i have accomplished or what i can really be proud of. i guess there are many things to be proud of my childhood and teenage years. soon enough, i would no longer be a teen and be responsible for more things about my own life. i know that i have to make my dreams come true, and they will. but i just can help but still feel scared of what can happen. i'm scared i may not be able to handle everything. all i want to do right now is be careful of each step i make so that i can look back with no regrets. fingers crossed for now.

if you just listen carefully..

have you ever listened to a song and felt that the song was about you? that the song was telling exactly how you feel? that the song was exactly what you had in mind, in your thoughts? have you ever listened to a song and it touched a certain emotion in you that caused there to be some tears? imagine yourself quietly listening to songs on your ipod. and then playing is this song, and all of sudden you find yourself crying.

i'm sure you now have a certain song in mind. i mean who hasn't, right?

but have you ever listened to a song, which you have absolutely no idea what the song is about because you don't understand the lyrics, and you just smiled or shed a tear? you're listening to this unfamiliar song in another language and you just start crying.

call me crazy but that's what i'm feeling right now. i'm listening to this song in korean and it's so beautiful that it brings tears to my eyes. so then i searched for any english translation, and eventhough some of the lines weren't in correct grammer, it just made perfect sense.

(if you're asking me how i ended up listening to a song in korean and kinda falling in love with it, this is how. Coffee Prince also known as The 1st Shop of Coffee Prince. it's such a funny, cute and sweet koreanovela, which is being shown on pinoy tv back home and i just love it. i kinda got addicted. and yeah, that's pretty much the gist of it. now moving on. btw, click here for the english translation.)

ok so maybe i felt that way, the first time i heard it yesterday, because i have been quite moody lately and feeling all sort of sentimental feelings and emotions i haven't felt for a while. but i tried listening again today, and it was just still a beautiful song. it actually made me feel good.

what made it sound so good? was it the melody? was it the lyrics? was it the message of the song? maybe the singer or the band? i don't know. i don't know even if it was because of the show or because i was feeling emotional. maybe it's a bit of everything. tell me what you think. so sit back, close your eyes and just listen carefully.

i miss manila

i miss manila.

i miss the lights. i miss the food. i miss the sounds. i miss the jeepneys and the tricycles. i miss the warm weather. i miss the people. i miss everything. i didn't exactly grow up in the heart of the city. but i miss it. when you are abroad, like i am, you'll feel the way i feel. you'll feel proud of being Pinoy and will miss it always.

this entry is not gonna be long so let me just sum up everything in a song by Amber Davis entitled Manila. hope you like it as much as i do.

INTRO
(Take me back to the place I love
Take me back to the place I love, uhuh uhuh huh
Take me back to the place I love
Take me back to the place I love, uhuh uhuh)

I remember when were kids
Having barbeques in the bukid
When the brownouts came, we were never alone
We just played in the streets till the lights came on
Six o'clock in the mornin'
Bakery just opened
We can smell the bread, it was cooking from a mile away
Ain't nothing like a fresh piece to start your day in...

CHORUS
Manila (Manila, Manila)
I'm comin' back to Manila
(The only place that I call home, home)
I'm comin' back to...
Manila (Manila, Manila)
I'm comin' back to Manila
The only place that I call home, home)

Signal to the jeepney (pick me up)
Take me to the place where (I grew up)
Back to the kids in the park where we played all day
Some had a shed for a home but it was all okay
'Cause in Manila, we're all the same
Everybody's waiting for things to change
In the barrio, that's how it is
We didn't care much 'cause we were kids, oh

CHORUS
(Manila, Manila)
I'm comin' back to Manila
(The only place that I call home, home)
I'm comin' back to...
Manila (Manila, Manila)
I'm comin' back to Manila
(The only place that I call home, home)

RAP
I've been gone for a minute but I'm on the next flight
And the plane man says we can make it by night
Can't wait to touch down in my old hometown
Had a girl, we used to kick it but I doubt she's still around, yoh
It's all good 'cause I'm back in the jungle
Where the girls in bikinis all come in a bundle
And pain and poverty is everywhere
But when the smoke all clears, it's only love in the air
I've been gone too long

Gone too long
I'm comin' home (comin' back to the place I love)
Gone too long
I'm comin' home (comin' back to the place I love)
I'm comin' back to Manila

Yo yo yo yo
I say, babalik ako sa Manila, Manila
Babalik ako sa Manila, Manila
Babalik ako sa Manila, Manila
Babalik ako, babalik ako, babalik
Babalik ako sa Manila, Manila
Babalik ako sa Manila, Manila
Babalik ako sa Manila, Manila
Babalik ako, babalik ako, babalik

I'm comin' home (Manila, Manila, Manila, Manila)
I'm comin' back to Manila (comin' back to the place I love)
I'm comin' back to Manila (Manila, Manila, Manila, Manila)
I'm comin' back to Manila (comin' back to the place I love)
(Manila, Manila, Manila, Manila, Manila)
(Comin' back to the place I love)
Comin' back to the place I love
Comin' back to the place I love
Comin' back to the place I love

Announcement: Blogger now in Filipino

i just found out that Blogger has announced that it now comes in Filipino. this is a nice development. they say it's 'bout time that the Filipino community's blogging power is now recognised as well. Philippines will soon be not just the world's SMS capital, but also the blogging capital. and considering that Friendster still hasn't put its site in Filipino, this is great news.

click on the photo in the link and you'll find Blogger's sign-up page in Tagalog. haha. i find it so cute when i see all links and words in tagalog. amazing. hehe.

now, will there be more Pinoys blogging because of this? we'll just have to wait and see.

http://buzz.blogger.com/2008/02/blogger-now-in-filipino.html#links

a grand debutante's ball

isn't it usually a big thing when a girl turns 18? we dream of a grand debutante ball with the most beautiful gown that just seems to be just your size and be waking down a red carpet ( others an aisle or staircase) to be accompanied by your escort and you're just the most beautiful girl in the whole room. i guess you get it now, i'm talking about all that glamour and splendor, the whole shebang. of course, you wish to be surrounded by friends and family and all those people who have become a significant part of your life.

one highlight of that night is the 18 somethings. 18 roses, candles, treasures, balloons, shots, etc., which we allocate to significant people in our life. the significant people who have touched our lives, who have influenced us and who have been there throughout our journey for the past 18 years. then there would be tears, hugs, laughter and more tears of joy. this night is all about you.

most girls dream of that big night, our would-be perfect night that we are to remember forever. like what they say, it's not everyday that a girl turns 18. however, not all girls have plans of celebrating it the way i just described it, but for those who do, wouldn't it have it any other way.

i guess you realize by now, i'm guilty of one thing. i'm guilty of the fact that i am one of those girls who dream of their once-in-a-lifetime perfect night. i dreamed of walking down a red carpet on a staircase. and going down, i can see my escort waiting at the end of the stairs with a huge bouquet, alongside with my parents. i can also see all my friends and family there watching on. all night, i would be surrounded by friends and loved ones. there would alot of tears of joy, laughter, smiles, hugs, gifts, pictures, dancing, surprises and memories to cherish. however this dream didn't quite come true for me. moving to london just when i was about to turn 18 didn't help at all.

the other night, i attended a party of a girl turning 13 years old and did she have a grand birthday celebration. almost like those grand debutant birthdays, complete with her roses and candles. except that she didn't dance with any of her roses nor did any of her candles said a message. her reason for that was because she wants her first dance to be with a special someone. (in other words: boyfriend. she wants her first slow dance to be with her boyfriend.)

i remember my first slowdance. it was with someone who meant alot to me that time and i guess will always be special. (of course, he doesn't know that and i'm definitely not gonna tell him that.) but unlike that girl, i want my last dance to be the most special. so i hope he comes soon and asks me to dance. because the song is about to end. (but i know that my last dance wouldn't stop eventhough the music has stopped playing.)

dancing the night away

have you ever gone to a party where there was dancing, and you just sat at your table and watched people dancing? sometimes it's actually funny. sometimes it's depressing and sad. (but only when slow music is playing.) sometimes it makes you feel good. (especially when you're going crazy on the dance floor.) but it's actually surprising what kind of things you realize by simply watching.

line dancing:

a funny dance to see at a party dance floor. and mostly women dance it. so i looked it up. definition of line dance: 'A dance in which individuals line up without partners and follow a choreographed pattern of steps to country music.' ok so i guess that's simple enough then. i like to think that this dance was created for those people with two left feet. and that they may be able to join in the fun on the dance floor. hey, that's just what i think anyway.

ballroom dancing:

personally, it's very nice to see this. it looks so graceful. just like in the movies such as shall we dance and take the lead. it takes some practice to get it all right. with the right partner and the right amount of dedication, it's gonna turn out beautiful and simply amazing.

slow dancing:

"here's to valentine's day", that's what the dj said when he started playing sweet slow music. and like third-fourths of the people on the dance floor went back to their seats. there was just like five couples on the dance floor. while i was watching, there was a certain feeling that came to me. memories as well came to me with the songs playing. i blame the bad choice of songs. hahaha. kidding aside, i felt the longing for someone to dance with. someone to hold me close and whisper sweet nothings in my ear. someone to be holding me close and feel his heartbeat beating with mine. someone in whose arms i can feel warmth, comfort, and i get to forget everything around me as if time has stood still for the both of us. i'm not pertaining to my past anymore. i think i have passed that stage by now. i'm now just longing for that feeling again.

whoa, single awareness didn't hit me until today, but boy for a moment there, did it hit me hard. on the other side, it gives me hope. to have that final last dance i've been waiting for.

honestly, i love the dance floor. not many people know this, but somehow i am a frustrated dancer. and it's fun to dance. you are also able to let out certain emotions through your dance. just like blogging, dance is an outlet for emotions. i like the satisfaction i get from dancing. it's nice to get your heart beating fast, makes you feel alive. so once you hear the music, don't hold back. who cares if you're looking like a fool? just dance your heart out. and for that moment, nothing else matters. you know what they say,

"Work like you don't need money,

Love like you've never been hurt,
And dance like no one's watching."

The Do's and Don'ts of Romantic Comedies

Real lessons in love you learn from the movies.

okay, so i got this online. and i just had to share this. being the hopeless romantic i am, i just love romantic comedies and can't get enough of them. who knows, maybe you too can learn a thing or two from this.

Four Weddings and a Funeral Lesson: Don't be afraid to mingle at weddings.

hey, weddings are suppose to be fun. not another day to remind you that you are single. it's suppose to give you hope that it would be your turn someday. hey, maybe you could catch a bouquet or two.

Say Anything Lesson: Do make a grand romantic gesture.

sometimes it's not enough just saying 'i love you' to people. sometimes actions speak louder than words. sometimes they could even mean more.

When Harry Met Sally Lesson: Don't rule out an old friend.

Bridget Jones' Diary Lesson: Don't date your boss (even if he's cute).

it's just gets too complicated. don't mix business with pleasure. well that's what they say anyway.

Hairspray Lesson: Do go after what you really want.

Hitch Lesson: Don't try and outsmart the game.

okay, it's been said that love is a game. and in every game, there are rules. you can memorize all the rules and think you're all ready to outsmart the game, only to find out that there is an exception to every rule.

My Big Fat Greek Wedding Lesson: Do try to get along with their family.

for me, this is a BIG MUST. really.

The 40-Year-Old Virgin Lesson: Don't listen to your moronic friends.

you are the best person to know what to do. in the end, it would be your own initiative and your own decision. but sometimes a different perspective wouldn't hurt.

The Wedding Singer Lesson: Do look beyond the mullet.

You've Got Mail Lesson: Don't spend so much time on the internet.

hmm.. okay, so certain love stories start from online chatting and certain friendly networks. but sometimes it's so much more fun to go out and mingle. the internet can be so deceiving and so fake. just be careful.

source: http://movies.yahoo.com/feature/dosanddontsofromanticcomedies.html

quotes unlimited

just because it's february 14 and obviously, valentine's day. where love, love is all around. (or possibly lack thereof.) let me share some quotes to all of you.

it's always a risk to like someone. it involves time, patience and understanding to get someone's heart to open up.
at times, it will work. other times, it won't. but that's why you call it a risk - you invest in something and there's a possibility you won't win.
however, you will get something in return: strength of heart and mind, and the assurance that you won't have any regrets from not trying.

at one time in your life, the one that you have loved the most will unexpectedly turn out to be the greatest stranger you have ever met.

when you're hurt, it's okay to flirt. to date. to hate. to mingle with other people. to drink. to cry to laugh out loud. to scream. and to dance wild.
you know why?
'coz when you're hurt, you don't owe anyboday any explanation on how you choose to repair what that person broke.
live your life as you wish..until you're whole again.

be with someone who knows what they have when they have you. love someone whose heart have been broken, so he/she knews exactly how it feels, and wont breaks yours.

in the end, only 3 things matter:
how much you loved
how gentle you lived,
and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you.

As you grow older, it gets harder just to believe. It's not that you don't want to, but too much has happened.

single awareness day

february. yep, it's the love month. the happy hearts month. and the most awaited february 14 is coming up. for lovers and couples, it's called valentine's day. but for those singles like me, it's what i like to call single awareness day (aka S.A.D.). it's called single awareness day because on that day, you become so aware that you are single due to the surroundings and that everywhere you go, you see sweet couples and dates and hearts and kisses and gifts and chocolates and flowers and all that romantic stuff. and sometimes you just get sick of too much mushiness around you. (of course, you're secretly jealous and wish you received one.) you already know you're single, and they seem to just be shoving it in your face. (argh!! haha.)

just added information, another definition for single awareness day, which i got from a friend's blog. single awareness day: "a season when people of all gender who are currently single will start to mourn on that cursed day when they see hearts all around..." i would also quote another friend on this and it goes like this, "Like we need another day of the year to remind us to feel like shit because we're single! Lol"

but you know what, to be honest, it's not really that bad. and i'm actually happy and excited. it's been a while since i felt happy about this day. let me look back at the past few years that i actually celebrated feb14. hmm..
2002 - just got one red rose. from whom? i will not say. why? i don't really know.
2004 - my first ever bongga-cious valentine's day. complete with a chocolate bouquet, a chocolate heart, teddy bear, card, a sort-of date, pictures (i think i lost them already.) and a necklace (the pendant has a different girl's name on it. hmm..imagine that).
2005 - nothing happened really. eventhough i kinda had someone special.
2006 - first time i was single again. it was kinda sad. but i just celebrated it with my best friends.
2007 - this was another sad day. i had someone special. but i was a million miles away. you see i was in a long-distance relationship. so that just doesn't work too good. (most of the time anyway)
2008 - well, can a single awareness day turn into a happy valentine's day? we'll just have to wait and see. plus we'll find out soon anyway.

you see, my friends have been blogging about this day so i decided what the heck?, i'll do one too. and here it is. so my message to all those celebrating valentine's day, stay happy in love. enjoy the special day made for all lovers in the world. for those unfortunate like me, who will spending S.A.D., don't fret. you are not alone. it doesn't neccessarily have to be a sad or depressing day. you can turn it all around and still enjoy that day. try spending it with all your single friends. you could also drink up or do something crazy. my friends and i were thinking of wearing black on that day. and when they ask why, we would say we're in mourning. hahahaha. (ok, so that's suppose to be a joke. please, i hope no one thinks we're trying to be more depressed or something.) but whatever you decide to do, please enjoy yourself and smile. always remember what they say, true love waits. (or true love is delayed. haha.Ü)

happy feb14 everyone.Ü

i fall again

you think it was gonna be your typical friday - boring, in front of the computer, just at home. and you find out you're completely, absolutely, terribly wrong.

yes, i fell down again. this time, harder than ever. nothing in life is ever easy to get. people may think that all that i want is within my reach. but they're wrong. it's not easy. expectations are higher. goals are higher. more pressure is added. just because people know that i can go far and i will, doesn't mean that getting far is easy. today i got another slap from reality. my heart sank when i heard the bad news. my breathing was getting uneasy and i called up one of my best friends. and when she answered, i just broke down. i couldn't control my emotions and my tears. i haven't felt that way and cried that hard since my last breakup. i haven't been this affected since last year. i almost forgot how it felt.

i have calmed down now. i think i have let it all out. one time, big time. got big hugs from my sister. i know my tears wouldn't change anything. but now i can think clearer. i can see clearly what i need to do to turn things around and make them go my way. for tonight, let me just get a much needed sleep.

the thing that i find funny about all this is what my horoscope said today. it goes like this: "It's not important that it's friday or that it's february or that it's 2008. Think about your future and plan ahead. Anything that happens today will have no significance and will be irrelevant." hmm.. should i take this as coincidence or does this have another meaning? should i just forget what happened today and shrug it off? should i not care about it coz it doesn't matter? thinking about it, it's funny how most answers from the love book and even my horoscopes actually make sense and have meaning. and they actually relate to my personal life. i take that as my guidance from above. because only He knows best. and it's true. *sigh*

so i'll just end this with a quote dedicated to myself for a more optimistic view filled with more hope for a brighter tomorrow. "Trusting God is a strange thing. We have a hard time bringing ourselves to do it, and yet when there's nothing else left, it always works." i trust Him. always have, always will.