scribbles vol.2

v.
the more i know you
the deeper i fall
i should stay away, distance myself
but then, you turn to be always there
you make me smile
you make me laugh
you make me feel good
about myself, life and right now
but i'm scared, really
why does this happen now
i've long waited for something like this
and it's you who just can't stay for long
now i don't want this
but it's too late to runaway now
if only i can switch off
everytime you're around
but i know i just can't
eventhough i wish i really could
to stop my heart from crying (or breaking)
knowing i'll just be a good friend to you

vi.
sometimes i want to distance myself
i'd convince myself to stay away
however whenever i see you
it's your smile that greets me
i just want you near
i want you to be sitting beside me.
you're with your friends
i can't stop but stare and smile.
i know i'm really crazy
i shouldn't be feeling this way
let me pretend, nothing has happened
i'd fake a smile as if everything's alright
i'll try and control myself, stop myself
before this feeling takes over me.

01.10
i want to pretend it's not there
i could act like it's not real
i'll just put things or feelings aside
i know i've done this before
but it never gets easier
maybe i'm just getting ahead of myself
maybe i'm really scared of getting hurt
maybe, just maybe
this was nothing but a dream

04.43
i always wanted to move on
from a past that was too painful
now i see something in you, about you
that gives me that strange feeling again
i never thought that it would be you
others would always joke
and i would just laugh along
but now, why does it hurt inside
you made me smile
it got me all inspired
but things changed overnight
somehow i was just so bothered
unsure of how or why i'm feeling this way
maybe because it seemed impossible
you and me can never happen
oh why can't everything just go back
to the ways things were before
maybe i'll just pretend this is nothing
maybe i'll convince myself this is scary
maybe i'll hide or runaway from you
maybe i can deny that this is true
or maybe i'll lie and fake a smile
when inside, my heart is being torn apart
yes, i'll fake a smile
and pretend i'm okay
when you smile at me
and sit right next to me
yes, i'll be okay.

vii.
i should be sleeping
instead i'm awake
i've been tossing and turning
but now it's too late
my alarm clock's about to sound
hears its countdown
tick tock tick tock
maybe i'll just turn it off
i've been thinking, i've been reading
which is probably why i just can't sleep

viii.
my heart
emotion, feelings
take chances
risk everything
just let it flow
let it just take control
my brain
my mind, thinking
to pretend and lie
deny everything
fake a smile or laugh
you're just gonna get hurt
which one's stronger?
which one should you listen to?