May 20, 2009
"okay, so i'm finally writing again. this comes from reading too much fanfiction. it has got me feeling certain emotions and thinking - thinking alot more than i already do. jumbled thoughts swin around my mind and my heart, filled with too much emotions, just wants to burst.
i'm confused and i'm lost. i feel so alone in my world of friends and family. i've got my whole life ahead of me and yet i'm scared. scared of failing my parents - to have them say that my best is simply not (never) enough. scared of all the hard work and obstacles that i would have to face to get to where i need to be. i know i'm strong enough but i'm still afraid that i could be proven wrong that shows i'm not strong enough - and maybe never was.
i feel a little empty - like something's missing - like a jigsaw puzzle that's missing one piece - like i'm just not whole or complete. it's something that just doesn't feel right, like something doesn't fit.
my heart's searching.. my mind's screaming..
maybe, just maybe, this is all too much for my little heart to handle."