random rants

"i'm scared." i am also worried, nervous, anxious about something i don't really know what or why. i have this heavy feeling in my chest but it's not some sort of sickness or anything. i find it wierd. it's been a while. maybe because i have to go back to school on monday and pressure is on with exams and coursework. or maybe it's what my mom said earlier that to me. or maybe, maybe uhm.. maybe i'll just be able to sleep it off.

"my heart is beating.." it always has been. it never stopped. yes, my heart has been broken before but that's no longer the issue. i'm happy where i am right now. even though there are occasional bumps, (sorry i'm not sure how to word it. but it's the best i can think of.) i'm really happy. i smile alot and enjoy a big laugh. inspiration comes and goes. and the times i do get a heavy heart, i know i've got a lot to smile for. (my partner is my favorite smile.Ü)

"and the winning number is..." isn't the raffle boring when you didn't buy any ticket? haha. think about it. buying raffle tickets is very much like buying lottery tickets. what are the chances that your ticket number gets picked? but it really is also exciting to find out whether you won something, anything at all.

"how's the weather today?" they say that the british usually talk about the weather. and i agree. i talk about the weather because i hate it. ok, hate is a strong word. but i just really don't like it. it's just so so so unpredictable. even the weatherman can be misleading. it could be raining really hard in the morning and very sunny and hot in the afternoon. the weather in london changes almost like a switch: on for rain and then off for sun. i mean where in the world can you find it snowing on the first day of springtime? (and sunny in winter?? really..)

"procrastination is.." bad. it is bad and very unhealthy. why? well, usually you end up cramming and rushing things, which therefore makes things more stressful. and now i gotta stop. i go back to school on monday. goodbye waking up at noon and sleeping early in the morning. focus on schoolwork and exams are now in shift. good luck to me.

Echoes, Silence, Patience and Grace

[p] make a wish and place it in your heart.
anything you want.
everything you want
[l] do you have it? good.
now believe it can come true.
you never know when the next miracle is gonna come from
the next smile
the next wish come true.
[p] but if you believe that its right around the corner
and you open your heart and mind to the possibility of it
to the certainty of it
[b] you may just get the thing you're wishing for.
[n] the world is full of magic
you just have to believe in it.
so make your wish
do u have it?
[h] good.
now believe in it.
with all your heart.


disclaimer: the title of this entry comes from the latest episode of my beloved one tree hill. yes, episode 13 is now out. yehey for that. and the long quote above comes from it. it was the ending lines to it. i totally love that show. start watching if you don't. and watch how i met your mother as well. i was watching the whole season from the start yesterday and i love it. and yes, it was the tv show where britney spears had a cameo role. lastly, i'm excited for gossip girl as well. i'm also addicted to that show so i say watch it as well. or miss out. haha. you know you love me. :)

anyways, going back to quote, i'm saying it's pretty simple to know what the message is. i say to also believe in the power of dreams. i then say to believe in the power of prayer as well. trust God because when there's nothing else left, it always works.

just because i'm bored

just because i'm bored and lack the inspiration to write prose. here's some things i just wrote out of the blue.

18.37
the sunlight hidden behind the clouds
struggling so hard to show itself
it wants to break free
it wants to shine as bright as it can
then it does
you say there's no other day that's brighter than today
then maybe life can't get better than this

12.17
it's time to give back
open your heart to others
it's not just about you
there are people that need more
empty up your pockets
who cares if you end up broke
if it's simply for a good cause

20.30
bow
the show's over
the curtain's closing
bow
your time's up
your turn's over
bow
no more second chances
no looking back
just say goodbye now.

surprising twist of fate

last time i talked about surprises, it was about being shocked. but it was the good kind of surprise thta makes u smile. i forgot that somehow that there was the good kind and bad kind. well, not really the bad kind but rather, the sad kind of surprise. it's the kind of surprise that gets us to stop and look back. change. inevitable and unstoppable. some for the worse, but mostly hopefully for the better. and when you do get the sad kind of surprise, don't fret. you're never alone. it would definitely be nice to have a shoulder to lean on or a simple hug to be your comfort.

15.53
life
i'm not sure what it is
simple yet complex
whole yet broken
something's missing
something's wrong
i look for answers
i try to find some meaning
i search, i ask, i question
and i pray.

there's still hope

there's still hope that i get to watch rent on broadway. it was said that they were suppose to be closing on june 1 of this year. but now they extended it. and now it's closing on september 7. i want to watch it live. anyone pls buy me a ticket. pls.. there's also hope that i get to watch two of the original cast perform. (and they're both my favorite.) i hope i get to watch adam pascal and anthony rapp in the musical rent when they perform on the tour beginning januray of 2009. waaaa.. pls.... anyone?

there's still hope that i can get into a course at university that would be really a good degree. (even if it's only a certificate really. hehe) there's still hope that maybe all the trouble and heartache i have to go through for my future would really pay off.

there' still hope that i do get to go home to the Philippines this year. everytime my parents talk about one month in July, it gives hope that they would really let me stay a month. i want to. i need to. fingers crossed.

there's still hope - lots of it actually. there's hope that this year, 2008, is indeed my year. the year that hopefully all my dreams come true. and even if they don't, i know i would have tried. right, besh?

there's still hope. and maybe just like love, it's actually all around. and believe that tomorrow's definitely gonna be better than today.